Antropyton

My Way

2008-03-21T00:54:00.003+01:00

I just have to post this. I needed some relax from writing up some hardcore theory :) So I checked Google Earth and to my huuuge surprise Nicaragua was updated!! hurrah! So I measured all the way I had to go to visit my informants. I don't know if you remember this post with pictures of my everyday walking.

So, here is a bird's eye view on my daily route (9,89 km from my apartment in a town to the last houshold I visited. Wow! How did I manage this?!??)

Changes

2008-01-16T20:32:00.000+01:00

I'm not going to update this blog any more. It will serve as a memory box for me or some casual readers in the near future... Le roi est mort, vive le roi! :)

So-called update

2007-10-05T16:52:00.000+02:00

Yes, it's been a long time since I posted here. Why? Too many things to do and too little time. The last two months in Nicaragua I was almost with no electricity so both writing and posting was impossible. But I'm back and I'm nearly satisfied with my fieldwork. I have a lot of data concerning a lot of subjects, but probably too little concerning the one I could concentrate on.... We'll see:) Now, what has happened and what I'm doing now:
1. I got married!! :)
2. I have a new supervisor
3. I've translated one anthropological article concerning European identity and the place of the Poles in the European community. Article was wrote by a Norwegian anthropologist and published in Betwixt and Between 2007. You can read the Polish translation here.
4. My two papers were accepted to presentation at the MASN Conference in Germany:

Place identity. Anthropologists and their “romantic” ideas in the crisis situations
Sense dependency vs. information dependency. Can phenomenological perspective be united with Beck’s theory of risk society?

You can read the whole program here
5. I am a member of the journal of Norwegian anthropology students Betwixt and Between 2008 and trying to write an article to this journal as well.
6. I have no idea how to transform my fieldwork into science...
7. I'll try to post some thoughts about my progress...

Mary Douglas

2007-05-19T22:54:00.000+02:00

The author of Risk and culture and Risk and blame has passed away, I´ve just read on antropologi.info. I don´t need to say that these two books are ones of the most inspiring I have ever read. The other ones have impressed me as well, but Douglas´ risk, danger and blame theories just blow me away! And of course I´ve been thinking about them a lot during the last five months. Douglas has spendt her life studying the idea of purity and now she´s dealing with it herself... May she rest in peace.

A good question is the key

2007-05-04T04:00:00.001+02:00

Suddenly things began to go well. What has happened?

I switched the question I stubbornly tried to answer to another one. “WHY do they live here?” seemed to be a good starting point for my interest in this place, but it hasn’t seemed to be helpful in understanding of people’s life. One day I started to ask (also myself): HOW do they live? What a trick, right? :) I was astonished by how this extremely simple change has improved my work! Suddenly I experienced a deluge of information that I’ve dreamt about during last 4 months.

I’ve realized that I’ve been looking for an answer that my informants would never give me (I don’t mean the verbal explication). The subject I’ve chosen to investigate on isn’t interesting for them at all so I couldn’t get any information in a “natural” way. The feeling that ”I have no data” is a plague among all fieldwork greenhorns and I’m surely not an exception. Of course I didn’t want to join the group and was racking my brains over some strategy that could help me somehow in gathering more, important in my opinion, data. And I got a brainwave: why am actually asking one of the most ethnocentric questions in the world and why I am locking myself in this trap? Why should they actually even try to convince me of the reasons to live here?! So I’ve started to watch more carefully HOW they live. What is important for them? What consumes their energy? [thanks to my supervisor for this hint :)] What kind of decisions do they take every day? Small, simple questions… Our life is after all nothing more than this…

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t ask about the reasons for any kind of activity that seems surprising or strange to us. It’s human nature to ask and we can’t escape from the feeling of burning curiosity. I’m just saying that we shouldn’t start with looking for “the big answer” if we aren’t familiar with the small, everyday ones…

Lesson for the future: START WITH LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT QUESTION, NOT THE ANSWER.

...

2007-05-02T21:00:00.000+02:00

(…) fieldwork must certainly rank with the more disagreeable activities that humanity has fashioned for itself. It is usually inconvenient, to say the least, sometimes physically uncomfortable, frequently embarrassing, and to a degree, always tense.

(Shaffir and Stebbins 1991:1)

Funny that we need to hear mentors voice not to feel guilty about our feelings …

Shaffir, W.B. and R.A. Stebbins. (eds). 1991. Experiencing Fieldwork: An Inside
View of Qualitative Research. London: Sage.

Pros and cons

2007-04-29T22:05:00.000+02:00

I miss jazz, but I felt in love with baseball :)

Village fieldwork?

2007-04-15T01:22:00.000+02:00

I wrote in the last post that I am doing ”village fieldwork”. It’s not exactly that. The place isn’t what we can easily call for the village, and my study is not what we can call “classic/traditional fieldwork”.

The place

People themselves while talking about this place don’t use a term “village” neither. One of the habitants tell me: “We are not a village like you can see other places. There is one house here, one house there. I don’t know how to call it (…) They say comarca (region) or just comunidad (community), but I don’t know (…) No, we’re not living together like this [when I explained how the most villages look like (or what is MY image of them)]. It’s because of the mountains…”. And this pattern of settlement is surely common in other mountainous regions.

I don’t know if I’ll use the real name of the region in my thesis or I’ll keep it anonymous so for now I’ll call it ambitiously for X :). At the same time I am publishing pictures from this area so I don’t know if it stays anonymous anymore :). Luckily (for me) the area influenced by the gases of Masaya is pretty big and it’s doesn’t matter actually where I took pictures (they are also from places where I don’t have informants) as long as I don’t write what has happened in this or that household and I don’t present any important information.

The whole region is about 7 kilometres from the nearest town and is situated more than 800 metres above the sea level. X consists of about 40 households on the terrain about 15km2. As you can imagine 40 households on such a relatively big area doesn’t make the region a densely populated. That also means that the houses are sparsely spread and the mountainous character of the region doesn’t help in communication between households. This has a lot of consequences for how both the social and personal life of these people looks like, how the social relations are shaped and how the values and priorities are created. This has also methodological implications for me. The limitation of social relations and the dynamics social contacts and communication is a challenge for everyone who is going to sketch a system of relationships. The households are relatively far from each other and while I am visiting one, there is almost no time to visit another the same day. It means that I am doing the participant observation but within one household per day.

The work

To make things clear – I don’t live in the X which is situated about 7 kilometres from where I live and this also has consequences in the way I conduct my work. This can be also the reason of the problems I described in the last post. I think this subject deserves separate post, but I need to spend more time with these people to see how being non-live-in guest from the town influences our relations.

Anyway, there is no regular transportation here. I resolved this problem by borrowing a motorcycle from the District Council. This helped a little bit. I have 5 kilometres less to climb to the top of the hill :). Of course it was extremely tiring to go these kilometres in a dust, heat and volcanic gases everyday (especially that I’m not a sporty type! :). This was also frustrating at the beginning since I knew I wasn’t at the excursion, but that I had things to do. I felt like I wasted so precious time. But I didn’t have a choice and for over 1 month now I’ve been taken the same route up almost everyday. Being a supporter of the phenomenological perspective on the landscape (Tilley, Ingold) and theories about the bodily experience of the world (Merleau-Ponty) I think that this what I first had perceived as a problem has increased my knowledge and understanding of how it is to live “in the gases”. Often I’ve also shared some meters or kilometres with people who were heading home or work and this turned out to be an incredible way to experience how the communication on the way looks like. I couldn’t have get to know it if I had taken a car whole the way. Now I am glad that I’ve decided not to rent a vehicle to get there every day without any trouble. I’m not saying that “martyrdom” is the best and most effective way to work, but sometimes it pays.

So, I can’t say that I am doing the typical fieldwork “round a bonfire” (H. Wike) that gathers villages members that are connected by a net of complex relations. Surprisingly, people that have the same experience (the destroying influence of the Masaya volcano) can live so separately and within one’s own family. They say so themselves: “No, we’re not living much together (…) we like each other, but we don’t have time to visit. And we like to spend time with our families”. It’s also amazing how many different ideas about the volcano, health, poverty and life in general can be found up there in the hills.

The fact that I’m not living there, the landform features and the transportation “problem” makes my visiting time highly limited. And I don’t live their life 100 % like the “traditional fieldwork” likes to demand.

Field break. Back to myself

2007-04-12T21:09:00.000+02:00

This will be a really messy post. Some thoughts without an order…It’s really hard to express everything I feel now in words…

After 3 months I took a one week break. We went to Guatemala and visited Tikal – the old Mayan capital. In spite of 3 days in a bus, it was so worth it. And I am not talking just about the tourist, aesthetics and travel experience in general. This tour made me remember of who I am and that I AM. Really, after 3 months of being “nobody” it was high time to restore the inner me. I am writing “nobody” because I am, at least I was, nobody for the community I am working with. I meant nothing to them, I am and I’ll go – this is how we all start, I think. Do I have anything in common with these people?!

Where is the boundary between the tolerance, acceptance and kindness, and the unhealthy acting, the unfair for our informants spectacle the anthropologist arranges? Does the end of this theatre depend only on time we spend in the new place? I don’t think so. I’m really trying to do my best. I’m not judging these people and I don’t feel better than them. Not at all. I’m listening and I’m talking. But I’m not myself. I just can’t. I don’t feel the thread of mutual understanding. Have you all been yourself totally and deeply during your fieldwork? Did you feel uncomfortable with the situation you’ve created? How did you deal with the feeling of absurdity of your thoughts while being with your informants?

I can’t neither tell these people what I am really thinking, I could heart them. Am I not trusting them or they are not trusting me? Maybe here the time would help. But I don’t have time. 6 months is really nothing, especially when someone uses more time to find a place to plunge her ethnographic tentacles for a longer time! :) (bad me!). I know that these people don’t need to “get me”, but how I am supposed to get to know and understand them if they don’t know me? Is it fair? Have you ever thought that your personality is an obstacle for your work?

The break was important to me. And I think that this is why the new chapter of my work started much better. I was remembered of who I am, what I like, how I live and where I belong to. I was so concentrated on how the people live and what they think that I forgot why I actually came here and what I want to achieve… Total immersion? No, not at all. You are just sinking in the search of the nucleus of their life… You are not living their life. At least not at beginning where I still am, I think. It’s been more like desperate searching for answers that maybe don’t exist. Asking those who don’t know. Finding what you didn’t come for. I needed this one week off to start again. It may seem naïve and stupid, but now I know that nothing happens if I don’t find the answers. Why was I so stressed out?! I needed to be reminded that there is a world out there such as it used to be and that MY WORLD is still waiting for me. I think I don’t believe in the unity of the worlds… Does it make me a bad anthropologist?

I just have to say that it’s not because of the “cultural shock” or the language problem. I don’t have neither problems with being “exotic” to the natives. Having come to Norway some time before the “polish invasion” there, I am used to being “the other” and “the exotic”. I am used to all those sometimes irritating small questions (come on, it’s not fair, we’re asking them the same irritating small questions). Living in a foreign-language country toughened me also up so I don’t suffer from the classic frustration a lot of us have when coming to the field. These people didn’t surprised me. I surprised myself…

I’ve never wanted to do “the village fieldwork” and it turned out to be so. Maybe this fact put me off my stroke… I just wanted to work with something that was impossible here and this could be the main reason to my disappointment. But now, go me! I have to use the time I still have and try to learn a lesson and keep doing what I am expected to and what I really dreamt about.

The heat drives me crazy! :)

Hegel about science

2007-03-05T22:27:00.000+01:00

I´ve never supposed he´ll be inspiring me in this period...

"Naukowe poznawanie wymaga (…) by oddać się całkowicie życiu przedmiotu, albo – co na jedno wychodzi – by mieć przed oczyma jego wewnętrzną konieczność i konieczność te wypowiadać."

"Toteż przy uprawianiu nauki chodzi o to, by wziąć na siebie wysiłek podążania za ruchem pojęcia. Nauka wymaga skierowania uwagi na pojęcie jako takie, na proste określenia (…); te określenia są bowiem takimi czystymi samodzielnymi ruchami, które można nazwać „duszami”, gdyby ich pojęcie nie oznaczało czegoś wyższego niż dusza."

G. W. F. Hegel „Fenomenologia ducha”

Reading Geertz´ reading

2007-03-05T22:22:00.000+01:00

Weekends in La Concha are days of a corrida. It’s not a typical corrida with toreador, but more like a blend of corrida and rodeo. It’s a pretty easy to interpret sign of cultural mix in Nicaragua. The Spanish heritage coexists with the North American reality of the Wild West. I’m not an enthusiast of this kind of fun and I’m not going to describe in details how the game looks like. The most significant for me was thoughts that this event triggered off. To outline the situation briefly – one man breaks in a bull and other males are running on the arena trying to enrage the bull and when the beast attacks to escape as fast as possible. Surprising to me was that anybody from the spectators could get on the bull and try to stay at one as long as possible while others spectators use red sheets (mostly old clothes), throw the bottles, cigarettes, small stones and sand at the animal. I asked one from the public if they have to pay for participation. He said no. Then I asked if they get money for participation. He answered that neither that. Well, why do they do this then? Of course, in such a poor country like Nicaragua the first explanation that comes to one’s mind is money, but it’s not the case as the corrida buddy told me. Then I looked at those men on the arena and observed how proud they are when they are moving closer and closer to the beast. They are strutting around like peacocks when they manage to escape from the dangerous horns. Why do they do this, I asked myself one more time. Now the new explanation seemed obvious to me. Male pride? Fame? Prestige? Heroism? Maybe that. It seemed logical to me, but then I thought about Geertz and his cockfight. How could he observe the game and come with such extraordinary explanations? When I was looking at the corrida and the public I was indeed “reading a text”, but did I read it correctly? Did my interpretation of this drawing have something to do with their reality? (I think actually that there is no difference between “text” or “drawing” (or “painting”) metaphor. Text is a drawing, a drawing is always a text and so on. So we read drawings, paintings, like icons… I don’t know actually why “writing and reading” phrase is used almost only to the Orthodox icons.) Weren’t my thoughts about the male pride and prestige the most ethnocentric solution/answer? Where did Geertz take this certainty from? Is certainty needed? How did he actually justify his interpretation?

To read Geertz one more time (though I’m not the biggest fun of the cockfight story). This time with a new look and experience. I’m sure that now I’ll be reading the literature in a completely different way. Especially the methodological part and I’ll definitely focus more attention to the argumentation, process of reasoning and concluding. I think I was too theory orientated in my reading. I’m already looking forward to trying some new monograph after coming back.

The bright side of (field)life…

2007-02-24T04:01:00.000+01:00

Where the pineapple is born?

Did you know that both me and Bartek had thought that the pineapples grow up on the trees?!?!?! You could imagine our faces when seeing this…(as a consolation I’ll add that I’ve already got messages from two European that they had lacked this knowledge as well! :) And I’ve always wondered why the pineapples have this strange, hard end and where it came from! Well, I still have a lot to learn…

I was almost on the Nicaraguan television!!!

The day of the workshop at INETER Bartek was watching the evening news and he saw the director of the geophysics I was just talking with, giving a TV interview. I completely forgot that the television was there and we didn’t catch the whole report, but I saw the people from the event… So funny. I have to write to them and ask about the copyJ Maybe I am there too…

What is the best way to learn riding?

I had never before mounted a Nicaraguan horse. I had never before ridden any horse! I had never climbed a mountain on a horse! I had never before climbed a volcano on a horse!!! What an experience! Telica volcano reached! Generally speaking I’m afraid of animals and have a little fear of heights and I don’t know how I survived this most extreme riding school! It was fun, but after 6 hours there was only weeping and gnashing of teeth! :) The local farmer took no notice of my pain, tears and frustration, just making fun of us by showing the acrobatic manoeuvres on his animal. But the view was worth it.

(How did they do this??!!)

(view on the San Cristobal -the highest volcano in Nicaragua)

(And on the way down...)

(No, I didn´t like him any more ... :)

(But I survived...)

And after all I managed to talk a little bit with our “teacher” about the volcano and hot springs San Jacinto.

I was also satisfied with the visit at San Jacinto village. Again, after reading some materials about these hot springs (connected to Telica volcano and emitting SO2) I thought also about going over this place with a toothcomb, but one geologist I had talked to said that San Jacinto was so local phenomena that I could be disappointed by doing research there (he also wondered if there was any point doing fieldwork there – well, I thought about the words on the website of my university that says: no ecosystem is too small to being investigated. I think these words are also relevant for any group, community and even relation). And he was right. There are a few families that are living near Hervideros de San Jacinto and the SO2 isn’t so unbearable as I had supposed after reading the reports. It’s also a finding one could say :)

It was also funny to read danger plates round the village that says like this one: “Be careful. There are dangerous places at the hot springs. Please use a guide!”. Being a guide round the hot springs is almost the only source of income for the local. Playing with a fear?

The gases of Masaya

2007-02-24T03:51:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I found two reports about the Masaya volcano. One made by INETER in 1990 and the other from 1999. I paste a map from 1990 that shows the area of the gas emission from this volcano. I don’t have tools, so the look is a little bit clumsy, but it illustrates what I want to show. The orange means the area most affected by the gases. We are not living there (firstly, on account of our health and secondly, it’s not easy to find an accommodation there). We’re living in an area of “medium risk” as the map states (I’m not yet 100 % if I marked our location correctly). People here say that it’s only a few times a year that the wind changes and the gases come to La Concha. “Then you just close the windows and don’t go out” (said a lady who owns windows! There are not much of them here).

Based on “Analisis de riesgo volcanico. Caso complejo volcanico de Masaya” by Garcia-Spatz, R.M. 1990, UNIO, Managua, s. 6

The other report states:

“The large quantities of SO2 released in the atmosphere by Masaya produces volcanic air pollution, which consists of poor air quality, hazy atmospheric conditions or smog, and acidic rains (McBirney, 1956, Johnson and Parnell, 1986; Stoiber et al., 1986). The effects of this volcanic pollution are geographically widespread downwind from Santiago crater and include damage to forests, cultivated crops, machinery, and buildings. In addition, many people report headaches and respiratory difficulties during periods of poor air quality.
We monitored the average SO2 dispersion and dry deposition of the plume with a network of diffusion tubes (Downing et al., 1994) and sulfation plates (Huey, 1968). These passive reactor devices were exposed during four weeks in March-April 1998 and February-March 1999. The 1999 surveys reveal that Masaya's plume affects a region of about 900 km2 (…). Time-averaged concentrations of SO2 exceeding 30 ppb are commonly observed under the plume up to 30 km distance from Santiago crater. Such high gas levels are considered unheathful (e.g., Turco, 1997 (…)).”

“Integrated geochemical, geophysical and petrological studies illuminate magmatic process at Masaya volcano, Nicaragua”. By Delmelle, P. et. al 1999. EOS, Transactions, American Geophysical Union, s. 7

At least I have already one scientific evidence! J I am sure I’ll find more at the INETER or CIGEO’s libraries, but there are mostly geological and such analysis of the crater, not the influence on the people. We’ll see. I’m going to read the rest of the reports and prepare myself to meet the doctors tomorrow.

The project revisited. We’re moving

2007-02-24T03:25:00.000+01:00

After one month I suppose it’s high time I rethought the project with which I came here. I think that after one month one should really stop finding any excuses for doing nothing that have something to do with for example the problem definition included in the paper. You can read my whole project here (Norwegian) and here (summary in Spanish). I’ve already mentioned it in English in some old posts.

The most crucial element for my work was meeting between the local people (lay perspective) that live under the volcanoes and the experts (like geologists, medical stuff and so). By this I wanted to see how those two groups are interacting with each other and how the communication/transmitting/translation of the scientific data is going. I wanted to investigate differences in the perception of the nature, danger, risk and health issues. I didn’t want to compare those (it’s both a time issue and experience I obviously lack), but rather see how they coexist in the given situations like evacuation (also forcible), education projects, campaigns and information about the geological hazards. That is why I needed a real meeting between the experts and the lay and I wanted to participate in such. While writing a project it seemed easy to carry out this task, but when I came here things began to look different. After conversations with some specialist (both geologist, volcanologists, doctors and representatives of the Red Cross, Ministry of Health, Defence and others that have something to do with the natural disasters) I realized that people actually don’t meet the representatives of the “scientific world”, and definitely don’t deal with “scientific data” as I had thought. It meant that I would need to spend more time with those groups separately and then make some comparison. I don’t think I have time to this. Neither I feel like doing this kind of fieldwork. It was so easy to imagine the conflicts and the dynamics when I was just reading some reports from the education programmes and so. It’s not the case. Well, maybe it would be if I could participate in some of those programmes, but there are not any right now and I didn’t want to risk that I would be sitting and waiting for anything to happen.

The other problem was that the health issues don’t seem to be so important/dramatic as I had supposed after reading some reports (for instance SINAPRED’s reports). I was explained at one meeting: “Those reports are focused at only one case and it can look really terrifying when you are reading them, but it isn’t so. Additionally, when doing reports about risks in the area we base on the worst scenario. It can be dangerous, but doesn’t have to be. And if nothing happens, nothing happens”. It’s also a finding – the politics of the information available to the public, but I can’t take up every aspect and phenomenon I discover here, right? And because I wasn’t interested in POSSIBLE ERUPTIONS, but in a CONSTANT HEALTH HAZARDS I was in a fix. Wanting to stay near my (written) project I had some alternatives:

1. The first one was staying in Leon and doing fieldwork about people’s experience with the eruptions in the past and their feelings about possibility/probability of the eruption. I had taken this plan B into consideration before leaving Norway in case of what I had described above, but I really don’t feel any passion for this kind of “probabilistic” investigation. Well, the results can be interesting, but I am so influenced by Douglas and Wildavsky’s idea about “the risks that are socially constructed” that I feel strange to ask people “Aren’t you really afraid of living here?”. I addition I think that this kind of question is so ethnocentric that I just couldn’t base my work on them. Also, I didn’t want to fall into a trap of using place identity to explain every phenomenon (like risk perception and management). Maybe I will have to – but I don’t want to take anything for granted.

2. Moving to the capital and working only with the group of experts. I want to make such a study some day, but for now I feel that I’m not brave enough to talk with those people. In my opinion this kind of study requires a lot of self-confidence. You have to be able to talk freely with people that have some kind of specialized knowledge and not necessarily are interested with sharing it and, what makes it more difficult, belong to the same epistemological system as you do (I really assume that this is the case). And of course I wasn’t prepared for this kind of work, both mentally and theoretically (I do love Bruno Latour, but he scares me to death!:) I had no idea how I could change my project and use it to a new study. I didn’t have time to write/think a new one. I really felt paralyzed by my previous writing, plans I had made and, of course, by my expectations. “It could be so great if it was like in my paper”, I thought. But It wasn’t and I had to do something with this.

Luckily, I turned out to be a textbook example for the fieldworker that can say: “A lot on the fieldwork depends on coincidence!” During the workshop with INETER (governmental institute for geosciences) in Managua one of my contact persons suggested that I should try to go and visit Masaya volcano south from the capital. I was said that “People there are living in the gases! You can see it, you can smell it. It’s a constant risk and people live there. And there are still people who are moving in there. I don’t know why. And nobody does anything with this case”. I got a brainwave! How could I miss this volcano, why nobody has told me about this case before, why haven’t I found any report about this case?!?! Is it really truth that nobody makes an investigation of the influence of the gases on the people that are living there? I felt myself getting goose pimples all over and finally I felt something I needed – a real interest. INETER organized an excursion and next day we went there.

I was speechless at what I saw. The wind this day was perfectly designed to feel the drama of the Santiago crater. I could hardly breathe. The view was fuzzy, the houses and persons were vague because of the SO2 (sulphur dioxide) emissions.

Do you see the gas plume?

(No, it´s not so bad quality of the pictures, it´s a cloud of volcanic gases)

Later, when I asked one person about why there is no medical investigation done there, he laughed and said that “maybe because they want people to die calm”. I don’t know if it’s true that nobody makes research in this zone. Tomorrow I have a meeting with somebody from the Medical Department at the UNAN (University in Managua) and will surely ask:).

Anyway, we came back home to Leon and packed our stuff (God, how much I managed to collect in one month!!!) and moved to Masaya that is about 120 km from our previous location. Next day we went round the volcano and find a room in La Concepción (popularly known as La Concha) that is about 10 km from the maximal affected zone. Finally I feel that my work has began, although I am still a little bit confused what my next step should be, but I’m really excited and I feel that this place is a right one for us.

A question to anthropologists (and not only)

2007-02-14T05:02:00.000+01:00

Do we need/have to like our informants?

Les raisons du Momotombo

2007-02-08T21:36:00.000+01:00

I had no idea that Victor Hugo was here! Momotombo is a real miracle! It doesn't surprise me that he became a national simbol. And what beatiful poems were written about him.

Les raisons du Momotombo

« Le baptême des volcans est un ancien usage qui

remonte aux premiers temps de la conquête. Tous

les cratères du Nicaragua furent alors sanctifiés, à

l’exception du Momotombo, d’où l’on ne vit

jamais revenir les religieux qui s’étaient chargés

d’aller y planter la croix. »

Séquier : Voyage dans l’Amérique du Sud.

Trouvant les tremblements de terre trop fréquents,

Les rois d’Espagne ont fait baptiser les volcans

Du royaume qu’ils ont en dessous de la sphère ;

Les volcans n’ont rien dit et se sont laissé faire,

Et puis le Momotombo lui seul n’a pas voulu.

Plus d’un prêtre en surplis, par le saint-père élu,

Portant le sacrement que l’Eglise administre,

L’œil au ciel, a monté la montagne sinistre ;

Beaucoup y sont allés, pas un seul n’est revenu.

O vieux Momotombo, colosse chauve et nu.

Qui songe près des mers, et fais de ton cratère

Une tiare d’ombre et de flamme à la terre.

Pourquoi, lorsqu'à ton seuil terrible nous frappons,

Ne veux-tu pas du Dieu qu’on t’apporte ? Réponds.

La montagne interrompt son crachement de lave,

Et le Momotombo répond d’une voix grave :

« Je n’aimais pas beaucoup le dieu qu’on a chassé.

Cet avare cachait de l’or dans un fossé ;

Il mangeait de la chair humaine ;

ses mâchoires Etaient de pourriture et de sang toutes noires.

Son antre était un porche au farouche carreau,

Temple sépulcre orné d’un pontife bourreau ;

Des squelettes riaient sous ses pieds ;

les écuelles Où cet être buvait le meurtre étaient cruelles ;

Sourd, difforme, il avait des serpents au poignet ;

Toujours entre ses dents un cadavre saignait ;

Ce spectre noircissait le firmament sublime.

J’en grondais quelques fois au fond de mon abîme.

Aussi, quand sont venus, fiers sur les flots tremblants.

Et du côté d’où vient le jour, des hommes blancs,

Je les ai bien reçus, trouvant que c’était sage.

— L’âme a certainement la couleur du visage,

Disais-je, l’homme blanc, c’est comme le ciel bleu ;

Et le dieu de ceux-ci doit être un très bon dieu.

On ne le verra point de meurtres se repaître.

— J’étais content ; j’avais horreur de l’ancien prêtre ;

Mais quand j’ai vu comment travaille le nouveau,

Quand j’ai vu flamboyer, ciel juste ! à mon niveau !

Cette torche lugubre, âpre, jamais éteinte,

Sombre, et que vous nommez l’Inquisition sainte,

Quand j’ai pu voir comment Torquemada s’y prend

Pour dissiper la nuit du sauvage ignorant,

Comment il civilise, et de quelle manière

Le Saint-Office enseigne et fait de la lumière,

Quand j’ai vu dans Lima d’affreux géants d’osier,

Pleins d’enfants, pétiller sur un large brasier,

Et le feu dévorer la vie, et les fumées

Se tordre sur les seins des femmes allumées ;

Quand je me suis senti parfois presque étouffé

Par l’âcre odeur qui sort de votre autodafé,

Moi qui ne brûlais rien que l’ombre en ma fournaise,

J’ai pensé que j’avais eu tort d’être bien aise ;

J’ai regardé de près le dieu de l’étranger,

Et j’ai dit : — Ce n’est pas la peine de changer. »

Victor Hugo "La Légende des Siècles”

Momotombo

O vieux Momotombo, colosse chauve et nu...

V. H.

El tren iba rodando sobre sus rieles. Era
en los días de mi dorada primavera
y era en mi Nicaragua natal.
De pronto, entre las copas de los árboles, vi
un cono gigantesco, "calvo y desnudo", y
lleno de antiguo orgullo triunfal.

Ya había yo leído a Hugo y la leyenda
que Squier le enseñó. Como una vasta tienda
vi aquel coloso negro ante el sol,
maravilloso de majestad. Padre viejo
que se duplica en el armonioso espejo
de un agua perla, esmeralda, col.

Agua de un vario verde y de un gris tan cambiante,
que discernir no deja su ópalo y su diamante,
a la vasta llama tropical.
Momotombo se alzaba lírico y soberano,
yo tenía quince años: ¡una estrella en la mano!
Y era en mi Nicaragua natal.

Ya estaba yo nutrido de Oviedo y de Gomara,
y mi alma florida soñaba historia rara,
fábula, cuento, romance, amor
de conquistas, victorias de caballeros bravos,
incas y sacerdotes, prisioneros y esclavos,
plumas y oro, audacia, esplendor.

Y llegué y vi en las nubes la prestigiosa testa
de aquel cono de siglos, de aquel volcán de gesta,
que era ante mí de revelación.
Señor de las alturas, emperador del agua,
a sus pies el divino lago de Managua,
con islas todas luz y canción.

¡Momotombo! -exclamé- ¡Oh nombre de epopeya!
Con razón Hugo el grande en tu onomatopeya
ritmo escuchó que es de eternidad.
Dijérase que fuese para las sombras dique,
desde que oyera el blanco la lengua del cacique
en sus discursos de libertad.

Padre de fuego y piedra, yo te pedí ese día
tu secreto de llamas, tu arcano de armonía,
la iniciación que podías dar;
por ti pensé en lo inmenso de Osas y Peliones,
en que arriba hay titanes en las constelaciones
y abajo dentro la tierra y el mar¡

Oh Momotombo ronco y sonoro! Te amo
porque a tu evocación vienen a mí otra vez,
obedeciendo a un íntimo reclamo
perfumes de mi infancia, brisas de mi niñez.

¡Los estandartes de la tarde y de la aurora!
Nunca los vi más bellos que alzados sobre ti,
toda zafir la cúpula sonora
sobre los triunfos de oro, de esmeralda y rubí.

Cuando las babilonias del Poniente
en purpúreas catástrofes hacia la inmensidad
rodaban tras la augusta soberbia de tu fuente
eras tú como el símbolo de la Serenidad.

En tu incesante hornalla vi la perpetua guerra,
en tu roca unidades que nunca acabarán.
Sentí en tus terremotos la brama de la tierra
y la inmortalidad de Pan.

¡Con un alma volcánica entré en la dura vida,
Aquilón y huracán sufrió mi corazón
y de mi mente mueven la cimera encendida
huracán y Aquilón!

Tu voz escuchó un día Cristóforo Colombo;
Hugo cantó tu gesta legendaria. Los dos
fueron como tú, enormes, Momotombo,
montañas habitadas por el fuego de Dios.

¡Hacia el misterio caen poetas y montañas;
y romperáse el cielo de cristal
cuando luchen sonando de Pan las siete cañas
y la trompeta del Juicio Final!

Rubén Darío

III Conference on Multidisciplinary Environmental Research, Managua

2007-02-08T20:54:00.000+01:00

I was to write about my fruitful week in the last post, but of course I changed the subject. Last week I did what I had to do – ha ha, did you think about Sinatra right now?! I did! “I did what I had to do….. I did it my way…”. I have no idea where it came from! It’s so inappropriate to sing New York songs here ;). I did what I had planned – sounds better and free from associations. I went to Managua to participate at the conference I was writing about before. Frankly speaking, I expected a lot while going there. Actually, I was waiting with all my decisions (like for instance choosing a specific place for my fieldwork) until this event. I hoped to talk to people I mailed from home and to get all information needed to start my real work. I can say that this meeting has come up to my expectations. Of course I hoped for a real enlightenment, that all my questions would be answered and that I wouldn’t stand on a desert of the a great unknown any longer. Wishful thinking! It’s like when in bed, we love to think that tomorrow will solve everything for us. It doesn’t happen.

The conference had three parts: geosciences, environmental medicine, and biology and ecology. I was listening both presentations in geology and medicine. Extremely interesting! Both subjects that were raised and the character of a scientific meeting in Nicaragua. It’s so different than in Norway.

The event was inaugurated with a national anthem, something that gave a dignity to the event. And the opening words seemed to go on endlessly. Every member of the organizing committee was welcomed and mentioned by name, academic title, organisations and institutions one belongs to and a post one has. Importance of this courtesy is similar in Poland, I think. The titles don’t mean so much in Norway. At least they are not mentioned so often and for sure use of them is not compulsory like it is in Poland. Where does it come from? Norwegian equality again? (Some words about meaning of det folkelige and how it influences, or may influence Scandinavian academia at antropologi.info).

The other difference between the South and the North (generally speaking of course) is the idea of TIME. Yes, we all have read about buses that go when they want, meetings when we have to wait hours for somebody to come just to hear “I came now, because I came now and didn’t come earlier”. When I came to Norway it surprised me, and even drove me crazy at the beginning, that people there have everything planned days, even months in advance. Every meeting has its own schedule and every change is announced, if not – people just get angry. At the conference, seminars and such, you are obligated to speak only 15 minutes if the plan allows only 15 minutes. The moderator gives you an ark which says “3 minutes left!” and so on. The organizers make plans that you demand and as such they require that you obey to their rules. Now I am used to such a play and it works for me. Of course, it can be frustrating in some situations, but generally the Norwegian owns the art of planning.

In Managua I saw the opposite. The plan was to start at 8 A.M. and nobody is there at 8:15 A.M. NOBODY. When I asked one guy if the presentations weren’t to start at 8, he said: “Sí, a las 8, más o menos” (Yes, at 8, more or less) and smiled and added: “Yeah, don’t care, they are going to come”. Well, I wasn’t mad at all, but it was something new. Especially at place like that, under the flag: science for development. Everybody has his own rhythm… Forget “3 minutes” sheet as well! They are talking! And do love it. And people hear, or not, but they don’t get impatient. All in all, I was at home at least 2 hours later than estimated every day. So funny how it all works. Of course, it has disadvantages, like for example: Yey! Let’s make a meeting with a respondent. We are waiting a third day to go with one guy to his mother who owns a farm and wants to show us how to process sugar cane. Well, I know that he really wants to show us this, but “today is not the day”. At one point I’ll get used to this.

The presentations were incredible interesting. Especially those in medicine. A lot staff about water contamination with lead and mercury, about methanol intoxication and respiratory problems. And most of them concerned Nicaragua, which meant a huge flow of new and essential information for me. Every presentations was followed by a discussion that almost always ended with talk about politics, the new government and changes in policy that are essential to improve the health condition for the people. Representatives for the Ministry of Health was talking a little bit about some projects they are conducting (like education at the country side about health hazards connected to using pesticides), but right away they were criticized for not being sufficient. What I observed was that presentations from Sweden (the conference was organized in cooperation with Lund University) were more “society friendly”. I mean that they presented not only results from their research, but also suggestions for how to apply this knowledge into society. They were talking about communication with people, about easy solutions, about first and small steps that can be done to improve the situation. They weren’t neither afraid to say that “You guys are responsible for all this!” while talking about pollution for example. They didn’t mince their words while talking about Nicaraguan policy. It was really obvious that they have much more experience with working with people (who are not experts) than the Nicaraguans and that they know that closed meetings are not enough. Of course, the Nicaraguan researchers are aware of this also, but I had an impression that they don’t know exactly what has to be done in practice to make a difference.

I can say that I made my first observation. I have (not much, but some) material from this experts meeting. And I did my first interview! 40 minutes! It was pretty strange, because we discussed some issues in a break between presentations and suddenly I had 40 minutes recording. And everything in Spanish so I didn’t talk too much, my questions wasn’t sophisticated at all, but I am still satisfied and happy that I found the courage to approach those people and talk to them (I still fight with this). I also talked with a lady from the Ministry of Health and some geology students which are working on improving communication between the experts and local people on the Ometepe Island that suffers from the Concepción volcano. I am going to Managua next week to meet them and maybe I could participate at one of the evacuation that is planned this year.

All in all, last week was really great. I am a little bit nervous about not having decided a place to go yet. I really don’t know. Have some options and hopefully next week will bring me enlightenment! :) I’m finishing my school Friday and I want to spend next week in the capital finding “my way”! :)

Personal/methodological implications/questions: How to say our hosts that we are moving?!

Rocking in a rocking chair

2007-02-08T20:31:00.000+01:00

Things are different every day. Thoughts are different every day. Things are the same every day. Thoughts are the same every day.

But I can say that last week was fruitful. Here, in León, where I am doing my Spanish course, things go really at a snail’s pace. This month except last week my days looked like:

8 -12 Spanish course

12-2 trying to survive the noon heat. Most of leoneses have a midday break, eating lunch and doing I don’t know what.

Later….
trying to do SOMETHING. Reading, writing (though I don’t have much to write about), hanging out, watching news, visiting nearby garbage dumps, museums, ruins of colonial churches, watching baseball games and trying not to panic.

About 6 P.M.
it’s getting dark and every day I am still deluding myself that it will be more chilly than during the day. Silly me! It’s frustrating how exhausting it can be. Anyway in the evening I am actually doing nothing more than during the day J. But the evenings are quite unique here. So what does it mean to “go native” among the residents of León? Well, it means sitting in front of the house or inside with the door open and let the time goes by… The most important furniture here in their houses is a rocking chair. Not one! They have thousands of them. Each house in my barrio owns at least 5 rocking chairs, because every member of the household has his own chair. And they are rocking and rocking and rocking… Sometimes speaking, sometimes laughing, waiting for … nothing! Yes, I am still surprised that they aren’t waiting for anything! They are just rocking. You can call me a townee and everybody who has lived in the country side has experienced the moments of the time laziness, but León is a city! City which does live! During the day it can be really busy. I don’t know why, but after dark everybody seems to transform their houses (and fronts of them and streets. I don’t know actually how to describe this really unique form of buildings here. After the revolution in 1979 all colonial residences were parcelled out and every room became a house for one family with a common patio for every room-house. That is why the houses here don’t have a “real” door, because they actually were back door from the colonial rooms. Every block – the whole city is based on blocks – has more “doorish” door on the corner, which means that it could have been a main gate to the house. I need to read how the process of parcelling out looked like. Grrrrrr, it’s difficult to explain with words how their houses look like. I’ll better put some pictures of the street and houses tomorrow) in a quiet haven, so different from the noisy life of the mornings.

And I have to admit that sometimes it cost me a lot of energy to hold out the silent rocking whole evening. Especially that my understanding of Nicaraguan language, although better than three weeks ago, still leaves a lot to be desired. So frustrating! But I try to rock as well as they do and keep small talking with the women from the barrio. And I feel that the boundary between kindness, curiosity and acting is really fuzzy and I have some issues with “the anthropologic patience” as I called it yesterday.

A garbage dump in Leon, where garabage is burning
every day... As one of the local told me: we have toburn it,
otherwise it will grow really high! Strange logic.

Cerro Negro (as promised)

2007-02-08T20:18:00.001+01:00

Los Maribios from Cerro Negro (north)

2007-01-25T23:11:00.000+01:00

Cerro Negro (almost)

2007-01-25T22:42:00.000+01:00

Well, hardly to believe but I didn´t download pictures of the whole volcano!!! The black mountain that is so powerfull and so amazing! Nevermind then, enjoy the beauty of the crater. We were inside the crater!!! Yeah, I am also surprised I really did it. The black sand around is a volcanic ash and all the stuff Cerro Negro has erupted the last few decades.

Some pictures. Leon

2007-01-25T22:34:00.000+01:00

View from the Cathedral.

¡Bienvenido!

2007-01-25T21:37:00.000+01:00

I love the sign!!!!

It’s been 10 days since we came here and I still don’t know what and how I am going to do here...

Once I landed in San Jose in Costa Rica, I did realize that reading anthropology is something totally different than DOING anthropology. I think writing belongs to the easier part as well (though it’s a while before I’ll start writing something “for real”). Once I felt this bittersweet air of fieldwork, I knew that THIS-IS-GOING-TO-MAKE-YOU-FREAK! (thanks K. for this music hit! :).

I knew at once that this was going to be hard. But I was excited. Still, I had the will to conquer the world and carry out what I had planned the last few months. The world was new and beautiful and waiting for me. At the airport, indeed. The city turned out to be an ignorant monster that truly gives a hoot about the ants like me. I meant nothing. And the city is really horrible. Maybe because it was the first city in this region we visited and unfortunately it is not the best representative of Latin American capitals. To cap it all when we gett off the bus in the centre of the city, when the business day started to flourish, right before our eyes a police patrol at the bicycles rode up to the stroller, as we had thought, stopped him, and took a huge gun from his trousers! So unexpectedly for us, and so natural for them. The “bad guy” didn’t seem aggressive and those two policemen didn’t seem surprised. The event didn’t cause any sensation neither. Actually we were the only rubbernecks that seemed to be shocked by the accident. The life of other passer-bys didn’t change. Mine did. It was like I was in a middle of “Amorres Perros” with that difference that I wasn’t supposed to leave a theatre within half an hour. What is worse, I was going to participate in that movie for next half a year, struck me!!!

!Bienvenido a America Latina!

We took a hotel room, tried not to think in black and took some beers. Later we visited the city and the university. The mood was better, but we wanted nothing but to take off to Nicaragua. Don’t know why but I was sure that “the country of lakes and volcanoes” will make me much more happier that this place. We took a morning bus and the next day we were in Managua.

At the bus station taxi drivers were already waiting for us. It’s true that taxis here find you before you find them! I said that we want to the bus terminal to León and asked about the price. He answered three times but I still didn’t understand. The problem here is that taxis don’t have taximeters and I’ve heard you pay extra for every passenger. Well, it’s not a problem after a few rides when you start learning the rules. In León taxis work like an urban bus. You can get in until the car is completely filled. And it doesn’t mean that four-person car is packed when there are sitting four person. “People, my car is bigger than that!”. Yes, here people don’t mind to be crammed like sardines. It’s hot anyway!

We came to León after two hours. Have seen volcano Momotombo which I recognized at once! After all, I was starring at him (I don’t know why but Momotombo is a male and I don’t use “it” when thinking about him) the last 6 months. So pretty! I felt like all those Romantics that come back from an exile to their motherland.

El lago! … El lago de la Patria mía!
El amigo querido de mi infancia...
El Momotombo con su faz sombría,
Su talento de rey y su arrogancia!

Oh Momotombo! Cómo te veía
Con hurano semblante cuando nino,
Y qué pavor tu aspecto me infundía,
Sin faltarte por eso mi carino!

“Saludo en su regreso a la patria”
1884. Carmen Díaz

It’s pretty strange but I felt like I knew this place. The lake, the volcanoes, Ometepe island…

Took another night at the hotel that freezes the character of Latin America. The colonial one – it’s easier to make it luxury and comfortable for thirsty of “the cultural experience” tourists. “This hotel is another dodge” – I said to Bartek. And those hotels are indeed. With their air-conditioning, sweet patios, primitive paintings on the walls and fresh fruits on their tables, they do give a false image of this place. There are bars between “museum Nicaragua” and “real Nicaragua”, like between a frozen and liquid culture. The flow of life is on the street. And take it literally. I’ll write about the street life later. There are a few patterns I have discovered that amaze me and inspire to make a comparison between a Norwegian and Nicaraguan house, especially with the notion of private sphere in the northern lives Marianne Gullestad writes about.

…………………

And back to personal thoughts: next day, after moving to the household I had arranged in Norway, I started to cry and was crying and crying. I couldn’t stop. I was terrified by where we were supposed to live, by not understanding Nicaraguan Spanish (especially my hosts!), by not having a will to get to know them, by the scorching heat and by all my ideas dying in the shadow of volcanoes! I wasn’t on cloud nine at that time. Frankly speaking, excitement that was accompanying me for so long, disappeared as if by magic. I don’t know where this breakdown came from, but it was real and hard. Hopefully, it will never come back. And surely, not in this form. I supposed this kind of despair is typical for most of us who are coming to the field. I didn’t fear the place, people or I don’t know what. I just felt so impotent, weak and adrift in the universe of my own expectations toward my work and myself…

It’s much better now, as one could suppose J. I’ve started classes and tamed the city. Usually I don’t need much time to adapt myself to new environments. Albert Camus has a point in one of his essays (I don’t remember a title, but will try to find it). He expressed in some beautiful words (with an amazing sentence about a rose flower) notion of a short-lived newness and unfamiliarity with places. Like me, after a night in a hotel, the next morning he goes out on the street and click! you feel at home. I think that we both dwell in environments a little bit faster than Ingold and Tilley may have wished J. That is why I was so surprised at my reaction. Anyway, I am trying to convince myself that my stay here will be worth something and that I can manage as a fieldworker.

Some facts:

I realized that I can’t write where I stay as the person is very recognizable at the community so it’s better to leave this unsaid for now and until I’ll find what to do with this fact. But we enjoy J and I have a huge opportunity to get some crucial informants. I hope I won’t miss it.
Have been at Cerro Negro (the youngest and the most active volcano in Central America) with quetzal trekkers. Strange enough I wasn’t afraid at all! Why should other people be, actually – I asked myself? I talked to a guide and will meet the organizers some day and make some interviews. I am also considering making some quasi-quantitative questionnaires for the participants of those trips and leave them at the office to fill in. Just in case I don’t have any other data :)
Volcano Telica had some eruptions of gases and ashes on 8, 9 and 10th January. There wasn’t any information here. At least not so visible as I had thought. Some people who are living near Telica were evacuated, but here in León (about 15 km away) nobody seemed to care about it. I read about the eruption a few days later at the website of INETER. That made me think about sense of my project. But after being here for 10 days I can surely wait with making any conclusions. Anyway, I consider this finding also pretty important for my case.
Have had quite sensible discussions with three residents of León about the risk, INETER’s decision making, spread of information and power of convincing people. They told me about previous eruptions and why people actually don’t follow INETER’s recommendations. Have some hot quotations! J Have got also some informations about the building regulations in colonial cities like León, Granada and Masaya. According to my informants it seems that the Town Council cares more about the cultural heritage that people who are living at the historical houses (they don’t have any choice). They would really love to build a safe roofs (while covered with volcanic ashes they are collapsing and are main risk in León during eruptions of Cerro Negro). I have to talk with representatives of the legislative body here!
Monday - CMIA!!!

Today we´re going to see some nicaraguan movie at the "Esquina del movimiento". Can be fun. Generally speaking, concerts and such (though not so many right now since it´s a holiday time here) seem to gather more tourists than the local public. What thBe local people are doing in the evenings I´ll write about in the next post.

Hong Kong dog :)

2007-01-07T18:55:00.000+01:00

Frankfurt. We're leaving tonight. Costa Rica first, then taking a bus to Nicaragua. I don't know yet when we'll be there. Want to see some costarican volcanoes, but I think we'll do it later.

I know nothing.
I'll face everything.
I'll face myself.

8 days

2006-12-29T20:04:00.001+01:00

I'm terrified.

Quick update

2006-12-19T18:10:00.000+01:00

One month has passed since I was here last time. Nothing has changed actually. I was just working my ass off. I am in Poland now and yesterday I said farewell to Oslo. No, it was rather "see ya". I am coming back in July.

What has happened since the last post:

1. Finished all exams (still waiting for the results from the last one)

2. Didn't manage to sublet our apartment

3. Got my project polished and approved

4. Got scholarship from SAI! jippi. It means that with the two scholarships I've got I don't need to worry too much about fundings under my fieldwork! Something that still amazes me! I really did it! Wow, I am really surprised how the system works and that it does work!!!

5. I've been promoted to project coordinator at Fafo. It was the same project I was working as an interviewer before - work migration to Norway - but this time the focus was on female immigrants and polish members of Norwegian trade unions. God, what an experience! I am so gratefull for the possibility of being there, for everything I've learned and so satisfied for being able to meet the expectations of project's organizers (it means my bosses). What I've also learned is that I am not the "leader-type" at all. I don't feel well with being a "boss". I'm not good with people. I mean that I can't dictate them what to do if they don't feel like doing this at all. I am so bad in forcing people. I also suck in fighting with things that are so totally absurd for me and can't even try to convince others to do or don't do this or that. Let everyone behave and act upon their own rules, convictions, logics, moral and so. I can do my work and be responsible for my own failures, but I hate answering for others. That was the least funny aspect of this work.

I've also learned so much about the practical procedures behind the survey. Questionnaire translation can turn into a huge issue! (if not disaster:) Interwievers' language skills can be such as well. I didn't realize how important it actually is! It made me really anxious when I thought about my Spanish and so... Ok, it's Christmas time, time to relax, try not to think about this in at least one week!

I've also lost some of my ideals about social science. It's so banal that I'm a little bit ashamed of myself for this finding! Science institutions are also market, factories, manufactures, a huge production... And the geopolitics I was discussing lately with Bartosz is so obvious and apparent...

Anyway, I had to leave Oslo and say no to job proposals there. It's funny and annoying how bad timing it was to offer me so good and interesting job right now... Bittersweet goodbye with Norway. Well, fate is a prankster...

All in all, things are going really well for me and I am satisfied with 2006, especially the last few months. Sometimes I am surprising myself a lot!

6. It's strange being in my hometown, where almost everyone is away. So, I am actually sitting and waiting for my bestfriends come back from here and there. I should make some shopping before X-mas and Nica, but... I don't know, I feel so restless... The first day is allways like that. I REALLY HAVE TO LEARN TO REST, RELAX, DOING NOTHING.

7. Merry Christmas and I hope 2007 will be the glorious one for each of you!

8. I'll try to write something before my departure to Nica to share my panic and nauseas:)

The Silence of Polyglots

2006-11-06T18:27:00.001+01:00

Not speaking one's mother tongue. Living with resonances and reasoning that are cut off from the body's nocturnal memory, from the bittersweet slumber of childhood. Bearing within oneself like a secret vault, or like a handicapped child—cherished and useless—that language of the past that withers without ever leaving you. You improve your ability with another instrument, as one expresses oneself with algebra or the violin. You can become a virtuoso with this new device that moreover gives you a new body, just as artificial and sublimated—some say sublime. You have a feeling that the new language is a resurrection: new skin, new sex. But the illusion bursts when you hear, upon listening to a recording, for instance, that the melody of your voice comes back to you as a peculiar sound, out of nowhere, closer to the old spluttering than to today's code. Your awkwardness has its charm, they say, it is even erotic, according to womanizers, not to be outdone. No one points out your mistakes, so as not to hurt your feelings, and then there are so many, and after all they don't give a damn. One nevertheless lets you know that it is irritating just the same. Occasionally, raising the eyebrows or saying "I beg your pardon?" in quick succession lead you to understand that you will "never be a part of it", that it "is not worth it," that there, at least, one is "not taken in." (…) Thus, between two languages, your realm is silence. By dint of saying things in various ways, one just as trite as the other, just as approximate, one ends up no longer saying them.
(…)
Stuck within that polymorphic mutism, the foreigner can, instead of saying, attempt doing—house-cleaning, playing tennis, soccer, sailing, sewing, horseback riding, jogging, getting pregnant, what have you. It remains an expenditure, it expends, and it propagates silence even more. Who listens to you? At the most, you are being tolerated. Anyway, do you really want to speak?

Why then did you cut off the maternal source of words? What did you dream up concerning those new people you spoke to in an artificial language, a prosthesis? From your standpoint, were they idealized or scorned? Come, now! Silence has not only been forced upon you, it is within you: a refusal to speak, a fitful sleep riven to an anguish that wants to remain mute, the private property of your proud and mortified discretion, that silence is a harsh light. Nothing to say, nothingness, no one on the horizon. An impervious fullness: cold diamond, secret treasury, carefully protected, out of reach. Saying nothing, nothing needs to be said, nothing can be said. At first, it was a cold war with those of the new idiom, desired and rejecting; then the new language covered you as might a slow tide, a neap tide. It is not the silence of anger that jostles words at the edge of the idea and the mouth; rather, it is the silence that empties the mind and fills the brain with despondency, like the gaze of sorrowful women coiled up in some nonexistant eternity.

Julia Kristeva "Strangers to Ourselves"

Finished!

2006-11-03T16:35:00.000+01:00

[This post is actually from Friday, but I forgot to post it and haven't been at home since then. And I've managed to twist my ankle :( Now, when I was looking forward to the first day off and going out in the Marka (check out the picture!! It's Sørkedalen and I was actually living there in 2 years!!! How funny it was to find this on the wiki) or do something fun ... grrr. nevermind. what I wrote on Friday:

Jiippii! Finished writting. It wasn't actually so bad as I had thought. Did I underestimated something? I mean that the assignment question was much more useful that I had supposed. Typisk... I am not totally satisfied with what I had written but I feel good with the thought process I had to go through. Really helpful to my future work. What I have mainly used to illustrate that "a methodological approach can not be dissociated from a theoretical approach":

Gupta og Ferguson - critique of "fieldwork" as a result of a dualistic theoretical perspective and understanding of culture as place bounded..... and of course critique of "exotification" of "the others" by Horace Miner (pdf) READ THIS!!!
Appadurai - globalization and challenges to traditional methods - ethnoscapes and locality
Hastrup - about ethnographic presence and realisme - I-witnessing (Geertz)
Postmodernism, deconstructionism and multivocality - reflection over anthropologists' status and authority
Research techniques - lack of standardized ethnographic methodological canons (Jackson)
Hermeneutic and symbolism, public meanings and observation, "thick descriptions" - Geertz
Phenomenology as a theory and research method - Merleau-Ponty, Stoller, Jackson (from Sanjek)
Phenomenology and landscape studies, taking materiality seriously - Tilley, Ingold, also some Callon (pdf)
Texts, text analysis and intertextuality - Clifford, Barnes and Duncan, Barthes, Iser
Discursive data, narratives, discourse - Smith, Dauite & Loghtfoot, Good, Foucault - all methods can be justifiable from the point of view of theoretical paradigm...

Something like this. And some others...
Jiippi. Finished anyway, whatever happens. Free weekend! Hmm, not actually. Taking subway in 20 minutes and go to FAFO to continue surveys... It feels fine.

Clifford Geertz, RIP

2006-10-31T21:41:00.000+01:00

Couldn't belive. Was reading all day about hermeneutics and symbolists' method. Then I was reading "Thick description" by Clifford Geertz and was writing a chapter to my essay and was totally tired after too many letters in my brain, too much coffee in my head and too much doubt in my mind... Needed some relax and looked at Savage Minds blog and read this sad news from Institute for Advanced Study. Clifford Geertz has passed away.

I'm not used to belive in coincidence... Strange to finish this chapter right now. Maybe I need a smoke. It's allways sad.

More about Geertz on Savage Minds.

Home exam. I'm disgruntled!

2006-10-27T20:24:00.000+02:00

Bleee. Have got questions to written assignment. 6 days. 4500 to 5500 words. Have to answer one of these:

1. Take as your point of departure relevant parts of the reading list and discuss what is meant by the concept of a sign. Show how the concept can be applied to understand how societies are integrated.

2.Economic metaphors are used in anthropological analyses of social differentiation and stratification. Show by using examples from the reading list how such use of concepts may provide insight into social and cultural processes. Discuss the fruitfulness of such analytical approaches, and show how alternative approaches may yield other forms of insight.

3. Anthropologists often claim that a methodological approach can not be dissociated from a theoretical approach. Substantiate this claim by reference to at least three articles/books from the reading list.

(More about the course here; only Norwegian)

I'm disgruntled!!! :):) For the first time I don't feel like writing anything. I have been working with my volcano project the last weeks and suddenly I have to jump to something different. I know, it won't hurt, but I would really love to use this week to write even 10.000 words, but on something that is bound up with what my head is filled up with. It could be pure theory or something, but this is ... grrrr. I am absolutely disgruntled!!! What do you think about these questions? Frankly, there was no one who liked them today. Well, it doesn't really help.

Anyway, I think I'll try the third one. Not sure, but I don't think it makes sense to use energy on semiotic toughies when I know relatively little right now. Actually I am a little bit confused about signals, signs, symbols and so. I feel the difference, but I am not sure if I manage to write a whole essay without blanding those terms at some point. Could be risky if I don't juggle with them freely. Funny, that one of the most important terms in anthropology is so troublesome. Maybe precisely therefore...

Economic metaphors are important, but I am a little bit fed up with Bourdieu's capital, power and so (he's on the list, and we are supposed to use his works). Knowledge, for instance, as a symbolic, social and cultural capital is relevant for my project, but I am not too keen on Bourdieuin general (but he has some really good points and terms). We had quite much reading about globalization which could be used to answer this question as well, but I have so aversion to this subject (I don't know why actually) that I have to veto number 1 also. Then I think number 3 is the only option. I think I'll just choose the one that will take minimum time and effort:) I really want to go further with my thing. So the question about method/theory is very open and I just have to figure out how to plan the essay out. I'll take this up tomorrow or sunday.

It's raining hard. Autumn. Norway is getting cold. Winter. I'm disgruntled!!! :) Those who know where I am working on saturdays will understand the picture and why I am complaining about the weather. The rest has to guess:) Not difficult, isn't it? Goshhh, have to get up at 5 AM. Boring.

Take a few days off at FAFO. I have to admitt that I got used to those questionnaires and felt good about being there every day and conducting survey. Nice work. Hard also. And satisfying.

Also went to seminar/course at StatSoft to improve my zero-knowledge about making quantitative surveys, analysis and so. Funny, enlightening, sometimes boring, new, puzzling and horrifying:) Quite surprisingly that I was there, maybe - went there to get to know the practical side of making big surveys, on the web and paper - need to know something before I am starting to criticize how other work :):) hush! Anyway, I am proud of myself that I did understand almost all of what has been said! :)

Abortion and childless tax. Governmentality in Poland and Nicaragua

2006-10-26T13:30:00.000+02:00

(protesting feminists. by La Prensa)

Yesterday, the deputies of Nicaraguan Parliament approved the request of president Enrique Bolaños and the Catholic Church to punish all abortions, including therapeutic abortion which was allowed by law from 2001. From now abortion in Nicaragua is punishable from 4 to 8 years. This applies both women and doctors and midvives who practices or attend abortion.

Tradicionally, abortion debate comes together with coming presidential election. Edmundo Jarquín from Movimiento Renovador Sandinista (MRS) protested against the new law and said that personally he is against abortion but now it's all about women's health. Eduardo Montealegre from Alianza Liberal Nicaragüense (ALN). "Sandinista leader Daniel Ortega, who was a supporter of abortion rights as a young revolutionary, has said he has become a devout Roman Catholic and now opposes abortion", writes The Associated Press (today's article). I suppose the case will have a great influence on the coming election results.

Today's article from El Nuevo Diario (spanish)

Today's article from La Prensa (spanish)

Some history on abortion case in Nicaragua

Polish politics life continues tradition and start discussing abortion right before election. While having one of the strongest protection of unborn children, Polish legislature hasn't dealt yet with a problem of rape, incest or child's disability. Yesterday a leading party proposed "to close the “rape exception” loophole for abortion and is seeking an insertion into the constitution that would guarantee “the legal right to life from the moment of conception", writes Lifesite in yesterday's article.

The League of Polish Families means that so we escape from misinterpretations of the constitutional regulation. Constitution experts are discussing possibilities of this amendment and one of them concludes that "moment of conception" can be interpreted differently as well. More here (only in Polish).

Another thing is the proposal of paying extra taxes by the childless families. Anna Sobecka from National Popular Movement said that "families which do not bring up the children should be charged with taxes, because they do not participate in society building", reports Gazeta Wyborcza (only Polish).

And speaking about Foucault and biopolitics...

Nature is the best impressionist

2006-10-24T22:16:00.000+02:00

French painters were really close....
I am bewitched.....

"The theory of evolution is a lie..."

2006-10-22T12:48:00.000+02:00

(photo by Lene Berg. www. darwin.com.pl)

Poland's education minister Roman Giertych has challenged European Comission as well as world science society and together with his father, professor of dendrology and representative in the European Parliament, Maciej Giertych and Miroslaw Orzechowski, deputy minister in the right-wing coalition government, has began a fight for "keeping Darwin's 'lies' out of Polish schools". Quarreling about human's origin is nothing new, but I am wondering about the timing for this creationist rebellion in Polish parliament. Has it something to do with the States? Hmmm.

Anyway, Roman G. says "we are not going to withdraw (Darwin's theory) from the school books, but we should start to DISCUSS it". Miroslaw O. makes a statement that "the theory of evolution is a lie, an error that we have legalised as a common truth" Maciej G. describes the theory as "not supported by proof" and called for it be removed from school books." All of them represents Catholic far-right political group - the League of Polish Families and mean that evolutionism was created for non-believers and as a substitute to the real faith.

Orzechowski doesn't hesitate to remove teachers who are not going to comply with ministry's instructions (if they come) about not teaching evolutionism. He doesn't hide his lack of tolerance (well, mild said) and said "Oh, the world has already managed without tolerance and will still manage". The whole interview here (only in Polish).

Quite surprisingly, archbishop Józef Życiński criticizes (only in Polish) those voices and says "Darwin had right, Sir minister!" and that "those who suggest that theory is incompatible with religious teaching do harm to the religion. Archbishop invokes Pope John Paul II to show that scientific theories cannot be seen as contradictory to relgion. In 1996 Pope John Paul II said "fresh knowledge leads to recognition of more than one hypothesis in the theory of evolution" but he didn't exclude this theory at all.

More about struggling between creationists and evolutionsists in Poland here.
Foreword by Maciej Giertych to "Creation Rediscovered" here.

Yesterday, representative in the European Parliament said that "dinosaurs lived in our time" and as an argument and proof he says "the Poles remember the Dragon of Wawel!". The LEGEND of The Dragon you can read here. Human development is also falsification according to Maciej Giertych. As a proof, he showed a picture of an american boxer and said that he looks totally like a Neanderthal man!!! Well, I am not an expert but Däniken had also his own evidences/legends and I am not sure if I believe in those. Maybe soon we'll meet a catchword "Welcome to the world of mysteries of professor Giertych" while heading to next European Parliament session.

And the most ironic thing of all is that Lene Berge - a norwegian artist, came last year to Warsaw and made an incredible funny installation in the centre of the city, on the buliding that reall has a special meaning for the polish society and politics...

6th october 2005. Warsaw's Palace of Culture and Science
Darwin is singing his soul... hihi. Check pictures, video, history here.

Do our parliamentary creationists have any comments? I think this debate need some smile as well.

P.S. And just to clarify matters - I am aware that theory is only theory.
(picture by Lene Berg. www.darwin.com.pl)

Temporal thema and problem definition

2006-10-20T10:14:00.000+02:00

In my thesis I want to focus on attitude to nature and scientific data in Nicaraguan villages round Maribio Volcano Range. Many studies point out the relation between health and nature and how the latter influences people’s wellbeing. Fugelli and Ingstad, for instance, write about Norwegians’ concept of nature as a source of health. With a staring point in environmental diseases I want to examine how people who are exposed to harmful impact of nature interpret their health situation. I want also to see how they accept the geological and medical expertises that began to throng to the villages not until the late eighties. According to SINAPRED (National System of Prevention, Mitigation and Attention to Disasters) CO_2, SO₂ and acid aerosols from eruptionsand degassing events cause respiratory problems, conjunctivitis, pneumonia, coma, asphyxiation, skin, eye and throat irritation, blindness, tiredness and so. Volcanic emissions have also destroying impact on animals, plants and soil fertility. There are also observed damages to metallic constructions and infrastructure. According to SINAPRED’s reports local population is not aware of the risks and local beliefs are understood by authorities as a hindrance to perform successfully information campaigns and evacuation efforts.

My question is to which extent we can use perception of nature and beliefs as an approach to understand the conflict between local population and the experts. One of my assumptions is that there are precisely different cosmologies that are valid to those two groups, something that makes the mutual understanding difficult. This implies that I have to find what cultural meaning nature has to people at Los Maribios. The second assumption is that the attitude to science does mirror relation to persons who convey this. As development of health care and social service in Nicaragua is connected with the national revival movement and campaigns after the Sandinista revolution in 1979, I suppose that these experts have to be seen in a wider historical context. Because there are they who try to convey scientific rationality, I have to examine what these experts stand for according to Los Maribios residents.

Some links, if anybody will be interested in more stuff, just say, but I really doubt:) :

SINAPRED (only spanish, lots of reports about each municipality and it's vulnerability and so)
INETER (Nicaraguan Geoscience Research Institute; last updates and a lot of stuff I've not read them all yet:)

Some articles:

a lot of documents on volcanoes and health from CRID

Quantitative methods...

2006-10-17T23:00:00.000+02:00

I was really lucky to get the job at FAFO right now. Their project (in cooperation with CMR) is about migration (mainly labour) from Poland to Norway, after EU enlargement in 2004. I am working as an interviewer in the quantitative surveys. Pretty cool job, I think. And the first one that has something in common with my education!

I think it's really a good time to do this now when I am preparing to my fieldwork. Firstly, I can train myself in doing interviews, I've never done this. Well, a few as a homework, but any that really tells, that are a part of research and on which that research depends! Wow, it was really strange to sit and talk with respondents and realize that "this is what has to be done before all see the results!" hehe. I know I know, banal discovery, but anyway it's pretty amazing to experience the boundarylessness of the field! is it now? is it allready now? am I doing research? I think everybody has to go through this kind of questions before he or she discovers that no magic wand will transform me-student to me-researcher. I've experienced that in spite of that it's not my project at all, but I am trying to take advantage of this job.

Anyway, the other thing is that yes-no-don't know-doesn't apply-surveys can be so frustrating! Especially when respondent wants to talk or starts his or her monologue, goes deeper into the subject, tells his or her lifestories and you are sitting there with your pencil, looking at the emotionless piece of paper with boxes, tables and number on and ask: "So you are happy while working in Norway? Right/wrong/don't know?" (it's only example, there is not taken from the questionnaire). I was just reading Leach's critique of quantitative surveys and I do understand what he means with incorrectly defined terms. Because what does it mean to be happy? How does the respondent interpret the question? Happy because or happy in spite of? How do we interpret this? It hadn't been a problem if it weren't for the fact that others interviewers could interpret the question differently... Well, there is no meaning to go deeply in those subject in this research so it doesn't hurt. The important thing is that we have to be really careful when using some others people's data, research materials, examples and so on, and especially while making conclusions based on them. Anyway, I am collecting practical arguments for not using quantitative methods in non-statistical phenomena. Obvious, obvious again, I know, but it feels so good to experience the need for some other method while doing for instance interview. It's so satisfying to be able to see lacks and to know what more could be done to improve the research... wow. thank you for your attention:)

Telica Today

2006-10-15T14:58:00.000+02:00

Isn't it gorgeous?! Look at the clouds and the light...
Today I've read about scorpions and other creepy creatures there. I have to admitt that it scares me to death... So I have to feed myself with all the magnificent things to obscure the others...

Test

2006-10-14T23:48:00.000+02:00

Well, we'll see how this beta version works and what it's going to change :)

Well, who am I?

2006-10-13T21:44:00.000+02:00

What Monty Python Holy Grail Quest Character are You?

You are King Arthur of the Britons!You like to hear yourself talk a lot, namely about some damn grail. Those closest to you are just there to serve you and bang your coconuts together. For some reason Mystical beings come to you and set you out on quests. If only more people understood you, perhaps you'd get that grail afterall.
Take this quiz!

Do I talk to much about some damn "grail"?! :)

Tickets bought!

2006-10-13T11:56:00.000+02:00

We've bought (all) the tickets!!! The plan is:
18. december - Poland, Christmas etc
January - Frankfurt, visiting Agata :)
7. January - San Juan (Costa Rica) ---- have got excellent tip how to get to Nicaragua. Post it at the bottom.
5. July - back - I am not sure yet if I am going to stop by Poland firts or I will take some vacations later...we'll see.

Oh, and took some vaccinations today.

What more has to be done:

travel insurance
yellow feber vaccine
buy some mosquito netts, repellents, telts or so
apply for scholarships
try to sublet our apartment for 3 months:/
repair and update laptop
buy tape recorder?
buy memory card to camera
FIND SPANISH SCHOOL IN LÉON!!!
make all appointments in Nica before I leave Europe
find out what to do with all our stuff here in Oslo, storage costs
find out all the stuff with money transfer
finish writting my project:):)
more?

OMG, time is running...

And the tips from the forum. Thanks Jaime! Really funny:

"One option that was left out, is taking the Pullman directo from San Jose to their private station in Liberia, then walking across the street to the regular bus station and catching a bus to the Frontera (border), walk across the border, and catch bus for the north (and prob. getting on another bus in San Juan de Sur). Its actually pretty easy and CHEAP provided that you speak and understand a little Spanish, have time on your hands, and enjoy the cultural experience of being on un-air conditioned, eventually full or crowded buses. I myself think its a great way to meet Nicas, even though I can afford to take the grey dog (TicaBus).

When in Rome do as the Romans."

Furious or somebody has stepped on my toes?:)

2006-10-10T23:36:00.000+02:00

And actually I think it is quite funny. Me, who are sitting, searching and reading all possible info about the country and the subject, have got some special "private message"! There is a forum on the web about Nicaragua and I have posted a question about malaria. I've read WHO and others' documents about the risk but I am the one who is quite nervous about this stuff so I wanted to get some info from people who are living there and what precautions they take - some personal experiences and so on. And among some encouraging words I've got this:

"Subject: You are doing research? HUH ????
I have written before about this...What are you doing ? You need to know what you are dong before your come to a country...using funds etc....You are looking for a phd...BUt YOU CANNOT GET THE INFO NEEDED TO PROTECT YOURSELF AGAINST DISEASE ?i AM SO SORRY...BUT I AM "considered" ELDERLY AND BEEN WORKING MY ENTIRE LIFE IN HEALTH SERVICES. I think you should be alot more prepared. Seroiusly ...how do you epect to do research when you have no clue about living in a country ? Enough...see..you want info..you pay or do your own research Maybe you should thnk about that. you are striving for a degree...that takes more than asking for instant answers. You can cal me a real $%^&*..I don't care. I am ut tired of kids going abut thinking hey can get ihstat answes and get their degrees . OK...Now you answer me. Why have you not done enouh research to know about everyting...you need to know about the area you are becoming a epert in ???? Sorry...I pisked on you...but I see this over and ove and I am so done. Acadenia is really going downhill."

I am just posting this to have some memories after some years from this time. I think I am going to hear a lot of such words during my work. It can actually be a big CHALLENGE not to take things personally! :):):)

Vamos Compañeros!

2006-10-07T17:45:00.000+02:00

Yes, there was so much work that I didn't even think about posting something. I wonder how nice it could be to be an "anthropologist" without a project! :) It could be so easy, just hanging around without going deeply into any subject... Nice, but boring after a while, I think. Anyway, after one month of doing whatever you can call it - thinking, trying, reading, asking, talking, dreaming, "sleeplessing", crying, smiling, searching, writing, thinking again, reading more and more and still too little, stressing, reading too much and so on - I think I've achieved some victories and I know: what, who, where, when and even why!!! Some conclusions about these w's and other things:

1. I am totally satifisfied with my supervisor! We've met only once but she mobilizes me and is so encouraging and give me energy to go go go go go.

2. I am going to write my thesis in Norwegian. I know it would be great to make it in English, but... ok, I am not going to complain on it any more!:P Anyway, I was discussing the subject with the supervisor and I've decide that I am not ready to torture myself and will try to concentrate on the content more than on form. I will probably translate it later to Spanish so you'll be able to check the stuff out!:)

3. I've chosen the place - Nicaragua, León municipality, Telica district among volcanoes Cerro Negro, Telica and San Critóbal (webcam). The placement of volcanoes in Nicaragua see the map.

I am not sure in which village I am going to stay, but I'll figure it out when I'm already there. But I would love to stay in San Jacinto (english) - due to its hot springs (spanish) and theirs ambivalent influence on people's health and use of the place as a tourist attraction (sic!) - kids are guides and EXPERTS on the subject! It is also estimated (SINAPRED's raport in pdf, spanish) that San Jacinto is the most vulnerable place (sitio crítico) in district when talking about natural risks.

I've been in contact with geologists and medical stuff from Central America and I have to say that I am really lucky with those people! I've got so much interesting and needed informations, documents and advices that I will always be gratefull for this. I think those first contacts with the field mean really much for the course of our projects - they've responded to me so enthusiastically that I felt blessed by this. Thank you all Nica people allready now, when I have 3 months yet to join your lives!

I've been invited also to participate in a conference for prevention and mitigation of natural disasters! Thanks for that CIGEO !!! It will be in January, so it's great start for my fieldwork. In spite of the fact that I am not going to focus in my "investigation" :) on risk management and survival strategies, it is important for me to see the way SCIENTISTS works, talks about stuffs and about people they are going to TEACH REALITY.

4. The main focus will be on:

production of scientific knowledge (geological and medical)
local knowledge
conflict between different epistemologies
understanding of scientific data and different use of them
understanding of illness (illness vs. disease) and attitude to modern, standard medicine
nature as an object or subject?
landscape, dwelling, history, narratives, place identity
the problem of risk concept will surely come out, but I won't make this to be the sentral one in my project. And, if I will take the subject up, it won't be surely social construction of risk, but social construction as RISK PERCEPTION.

Question is: kan we use beliefs and perception of nature as an approach to understand conflict between local people and the experts?

5. We, my boyfriend and me, are going to Costa Rica at the beginning of January and take a bus to Nica (have to apply for american visa to take a plane some cheap plane to Nicaragua - and actually it will be fun to do this - it is not so far away). I'll try to be in the capital - Managua - for a few days to meet those people with whom I am corresponding now, visit some libraries, archives and so on. But actually I am going to be in Léon the first month - taking spanish courses, meeting people, getting to know country, people (haven't been in South America before!) and myself in the field. Léon (spanish, english) is still "the intellectual center of the nation" with three universities, international colleges and so on. That is why I do not feel the pressure to be in tha capital too long. I think and I hope the libraries in Léon will be enough. And the place is beautiful, just google some pictures, oh God, all those colonial churches... I love all form for sincretism! I just want to be there NOW. It's funny - I've never been interested in Latin America... :)

We are going to stay at the Red Cross shelter in Léon so I am pretty proud of myself that I've managed to arrange this already! Once we are there, we hope to practice the snowball method!:) I've also get info that they are some shelter in San Jacinto so it is totally perfect. Our aim is to stay at some family's house in the village... as everybody's :)

Bartosz will be with me until March and I am going to continue my fieldwork until July. So I will end up with six months fieldwork and I hope to use every minute of this time! I just can't wait!

I'll not bore you with theories I am going to use. At least not now.

Other things:

1. I am totally on cloud nine for being polish right now (I do not have any problems with it!). Translation of Malinowski 's diaries? Gosh, you guys have to learn polish to get to know what is written there! Word by word, verse by verse, evolution of the mind and body... The language he is using is untranslatable! Especially those reminding more of scratch notes than "diary in the strict sense of the term". I was estonished by experiencing the similarity between his and my writing stile (in mother tongue).

2. I felt in love with literature database!!! Totally! I think actually I am going to be obsessed by them soon :)

3. Working on Films From The South Festival - you who are in Oslo now - don't miss this!!! Great fun!

4. Go me! Go me! :P

Trying to stand aloof

2006-09-25T16:47:00.000+02:00

I am not fighting with thoughts.
It is thoughts WHO are fighting with each other.

W Malinowym chrusniaku

2006-09-23T22:50:00.000+02:00

No tak, trza bylo sie upalic, by przekonac sie do pamietnikow "guru"! No ale teraz wiem, ze warto bylo. Bronislaw Malinowski od podszewki:

"-Dzis rano zrobilem gówno - tego mi widać potrzeba"
(Zeszyt Mailuski. 16.1.1915)

No i dla fanow Kazika:
"Góry ciemnoszafirowe; chmury, kumulusy snieznobiale wsrod ciemnych olowianych cieni na stratusach." !!!!
(Dnia tego samego)

Hehe, tego mi widac potrzeba!
No i nowe wyrazenie: "atak monogamizmu"

CACAO(BLOOD)BATH

2006-09-21T09:23:00.000+02:00

Contextualization
Approximation
Comprehension
Adaptation
Operationalization

Invisible culture?

2006-09-05T22:59:00.000+02:00

Wow. Yesterday I met some friends and we were talking about people's fascinations with cultures (in a popular meaning), nations, ethnic groups and so on. And one of them said that she knew one Norwegian that was fascinated by Polish culture. He loved that country and wanted to get know more and more about it and of course go there! There was nothing strange there but what stunned me was that he was blind. Wow - I thought. Allways when people speak about their fascinations with "the Other" the aesthetic qualities are mentioned - somebody likes how Peru national dress looks like, some love japanese architecture, some is delighted with desert landscapes or the drama of fjords. I do not mean that the visual impression is the only one that makes people interested in another culture. No, they are speaking about history, customs, traditions and so on. But, wow again, I've never thought how it is to think about unknown places and peoples that we have no idea how they look like. I mean that the visual shapes so much our (or I should say - MINE) ideas and fascinations... It is unbelievable! I admitt that this reflections can come from my ignoration, and I am ashamed about it. I've just never thought before about what fascination with another country for instance comes from! Wow! Has anyone of you read something of this subject? I don't mean a literature about the cognitive systems and so one. But something more like some reflections about this kind of disability and getting fascinated with other cultures and environments and so on. I know it's out of the blue and quite silly but maybe... :) I don't know, right know I am fed up with my English that sucks and doesn't let me express what I mean. Grrrrrrr. I wonder also if lack of language skills hasn't made this post to some monologue of an ignorant and immature blockhead! To say nothing of possible political incorrect expressions...

Well, nevermind, soon something about how my Nica project is going on - and it is gooooing on:)

Flores del volcán

2006-08-29T12:18:00.000+02:00

Fourteen volcanos rise
in my remembered country
in my mythical country.
Fourteen volcanos of foliage and stone
where strange clouds hold back
the screech of a homeless bird.
Who said that my country was green?
It is more red, more gray, more violent:
Izalco roars,
taking more lives.
Eternal Chacmol collects blood,
the gray orphans
the volcano spitting bright lava
and the dead guerrillero
and the thousand betrayed faces,
the children who are watching
so they can tell of it.
Not one kingdom was left us.
One by one they fell
through all the Americas.
Steel rang in palaces,
in the streets,
in the forests
and the centaurs sacked the temple.
Gold disappeared and continues
to disappear on yanqui ships,
the golden coffee mixed with blood.
The priest flees screaming
in the middle of the night
he calls his followers
and they open the guerrilleros chest
so as to offer the Chac
his smoking heart.
No one believes in Izalco
that Tlaloc is dead
despite television,
refrigerators,
Toyotas.
The cycle is closing,
strange the volcano's silence
since it last drew breath.
Central America trembled,
Managua collapsed.
In Guatemala the earth sank
Hurricane Fifi flattened Honduras.
They say the yanquis turned it away,
that it was moving towards Florida
and they forced it back.
The golden coffee is unloaded
in New York where
they roast it, grind it
can it and give it a price.
Siete de Junio
noche fatal
bailando el tango
la capital.
From the shadowed terraces
San Salvador's volcano rises.
Two-story mansions
protected by walls
four meters high
march up its flanks
each with railings and gardens,
roses from England
and dwarf araucarias,
Uruguayan pines.
Farther up, in the crater
within the crater's walls
live peasant families
who cultivate flowers
their children can sell.
The cycle is closing,
Cuscatlecan flowers
thrive in volcanic ash,
they grow strong, tall, brilliant.
The volcano's children
flow down like lava
with their bouquets of flowers,
like roots they meander
like rivers the cycle is closing.
The owners of two-story houses
protected from thieves by walls
peer from their balconies
and they see the red waves descending
and they drown their fears in whiskey.
They are only children in rags
with flowers from the volcano,
with Jacintos and Pascuas and Mulatas
but the wave is swelling,
today's Chacmol still wants blood,
the cycle is closing,
Tlaloc is not dead.


Claribel Alegría "Flowers from the Volcano", translated by C. Forche. About the nicaraguan author in English.

We ask, we don't answer. What nature is for ME.

2006-08-13T16:21:00.000+02:00

I've observed something funny. When you ask an anthropologist, sociologist or other social scientist about their attitude to some phenomena, they will answer you in all possibly ways but rarely directly. Ask them about what the gender is, what the state is, what ethnicity they belong or how emotions come into being! (Don't ask them about what CULTURE is! - you will surely not catch the next subway! I doubt actually if you would catch any subway at all!:) I think it's typical for any kind of, let's say specialist (especially within the humanities - they are almost never able to give you a simple answer!) But when I ask for example my brother who works with finances what kind of investment would be suitable for me he also starts his lecture: "You know, there is a lot of investments...bla bla bla, it's not so easy as one could suppose..." The same when I want some simple advice from my "computer geek" friends I regret asking once they open their mouths:)

When I asked my schoolmates about their attitudes to some phenomena I often heard: "Well, it's not easy to say", "You know, i's socially dependent" or "In some African tribe for example"... Well ok, but how do YOU define "nature" if you want to make research on Indonesian people's attitude to this? What is your perception of death if you are going to write about funeral rituals in rural Ukraine? Shouldn't we first ask ourselves and then create questions? Why should these people know the answer if you don't do this? We do love to ask, but we hesitate to answer. By our interpretations we are creating A LOT OF answers that are not ours and in that we move away, I think, from our own beliefs and convictions.

So when I was on Svalbard for about two months ago I discovered, to my huge surprise, one of "definitions" which is valid for me as an informant, not as "an scientist". I realized what the nature is for ME. And I really found it of great significance for my future work. That gave me a new look at what I am actually able to ask people about and how I could ask them! I've asked myself a thousand and one times about my "private" definition of various terms and I've allways fallen into a trap of "other's definitions of other's definitions." It means that I hardly could erase from my head what I had read on this subject before and be one-on-one with myself. But then we took the plane to Svalbard...

I was enchanted by the greatness, fabulousness and unreality of the place on which we had landed. Yes, there was beauuuuutiful there, especially when flying over snow mountains and hiking on glaciers, but there was something there that didn't let me feel COMFORTABLE. The island was exotic - yes, it was quiet - yes, it was amazing - yes, but NATURAL? - not at all!

Longyearbyen as a coal mining city has only intensified my impression of a non-natural environment. It was the first time ever I had felt so much HUMAN BEING. HUMAN ACTIVITY. I'm not too "green" person, but this time I really saw this "brutal hand". Maybe being aware of being on 78° North and all difficulties that the first "conquerors" had had to overcome enhanced that impression.

(And all this is labeled as "cultural heritage", something that causes conflicts between the authorities and some ecological groups)

So after a while in a city we took a little walk around and suddenly, without asking, totally unexpected to me I said to my boyfriend:
"You know it's really strange. In all catalogues and tourist guidebooks it is written: "Experience nature in its purest form" or "welcome to the kingdom of nature" or something like this but...I don't actually feel that nature here! I do not feel NATURE here at all! It's strange. Nature is something green, something that grows, that reproduce oneself... Nature should live, shouldn't it? Here I feel like in Hades... I can almost feel death here!"

I know this definition has not any scientifical value or validity, but after all every book and theory is based on such statements! I mean that we often have to build some scientifical "knowledge" and "truth" out of our informants' simple statements, stories and words and these ones do have some value for us.

There were of course a lot of fabulous places and there was much more light and blue than on these pictures (we saw actually some flowers there too;) but these are my memories and they show Svalbard that I've seen and how I remember it. And apart from that, they fit my words above and my definition of non-nature (heh, it's so easy to create ethnographic examples to ones own theory!!:)

Taking (bad) pictures of rituals and holy places. Anthropologist vs. tourist

2006-07-26T17:25:00.000+02:00

Friday 30th of June we went to Holy Mount of Grabarka (only in Polish, in English here) and the Orthodox Church of the Transfiguration. The place is the most important orthodox sanctuary in Poland. It is situated in the eastern part of country, close to Siemiatycze, near border with Belarus. Celebrity of the feast of the Transfiguration is one of the 12 important holidays in orthodox ecclesiastical calendar. The date of our arrival is important to mention because it was the 10th Friday from Easter. It means it was the day of exceptional Holy Liturgy to which Orthodox people from Poland and Belarus come. We didn't actually know about the celebration and didn't suppose we were going to participate (?!) in an important religious event. Especially that on our way to sanctuary we didn't meet too much pilgrims:)

At the Holy Spring there wasn't anybody either...

So it was to our great surprise that when went up the hill to visit the church and the mount of crosses we met the congregation devoted to listening to the sermon and songs. And here THE BAD PHOTOGRAPHY began...

As you can see I didn't use too much time and energy to adjust my camera, to bring the image into focus, to wait for the right light, composition and so on (I am not any artistic or technical talent at all but I allways try a little bit more:). Suddenly I became conscious of being at a holy place. A place that is important to the assembled in a way that needs respect, understanding and distance. I felt ill at ease taking pictures highlighting my "strangeness" there. From somebody who wanted to see and experience the holy place, I transformed to a nosy tourist that poked her head in there. I felt like a spion in a place that deserves some special treatment. I didn't feel well. That is why I took some shots that are so crummy. Pictures that express my discomfort and my position there. The photos above show how I've tried to document what I saw but I didn't have enough courage and knowledge to make THE GOOD (aesthetic) DOCUMENT...

When I saw the pictures after I came home I was amazed over what the pictures actually showed! They are bad as documents of the celebration and don't have any aesthetic qualities but they are perfect as an evidence for my presence there and what my position was there and then - an observer, somebody hidden, who didn't want to be nailed. The camera was matter out of place as well as I was. In my perspective. As a newcomer, as a stranger, as an outsider, I wasn't sure how far I can go not to hurt anybody. Not to destroy the holisness of the moment. That is why I am not sure if I can work with "holy" things, places, rituals and others. I just couldn't wipe off the feeling of intrudeness out of my head. I think that my sense of empathy dominates over my voice of reason. I hope it is true what every experienced fielworker says that it's just a metter of training and practice to find the balance between those two. I know also that the fact that I was so focused on myself made me feel so uncomfortable. Now I am quite sure that those people probably didn't bother about my presence and what I was trying to do. But there and then I had a feeling that everybody looked at me and didn't say nothing but thought that I was a really rude tourist!

The other fact is that I didn't know anything about "taking pictures rules" there and I didn't ask anyone about that. I felt awfully weird. As a lot of fieldworkers ask themselves: Do I have the right? (see for example Belomonte or Scheper-Hughes) I asked myself also. I don't know the answer, I don't know exactly what I was doing there and why, but I've discovered next truth of being a moral scientist:

IF YOU DOUBT IF WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS RIGHT, DON'T DO THAT, YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT THAT. IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE NEW SITUATION AND YOU ARE NOT SURE ABOUT CULTURAL NORMS THERE - DON'T DO ANYTHING THAT CAN GIVE YOU BAD CONSCIENCE. YOUR PEACE OF MIND AND MORAL SELFDISCIPLINE IS A POINT OF DEPARTURE FOR MAKING GOOD SCIENCE AND THE WORLD BETTER.

In his article Jay Ruby writes "If "taking pictures" is an anthropological activity, It would seem quite reasonable to expect to find a body of literature which demonstrates that anthropological picture-taking is scientifically justifiable." As I was just a "tourist" there, it is hard to find any justification for taking pictures there.

Another thing is where the boundary between being a tourist and being an anthropologist lays???? There are tourists who are interested in the culture and social situations one experiences and there are anthropologists that are not doing any FORMAL research or fieldwork at the place at which they are. Any place I visit for the first time provoke some thoughts that could be labeled as "anthropological" - that means that I try to find patterns, structures, functions, reasons, contexts in what I am witnessing. I adore anything new and I easily fall in love with the new situations and social beings. It gives me the power to explore new subjects and wake my interest in new themes. That feeling makes me interested in people's life and makes me want to understand them. Am I a tourist then or an anthropologist? I think that the difference is in what we do with those feelings later, when we are back from those places...... (I need to go deeper into this subject).

Anyway, I think that being an anthropologist requires a good dose of self-esteem and humility at the same time.

As a conlusion I want to quote Ruby and put pictures that, I think, illustrate almost literally what he calls "photographic presentation of self":

"When an anthropologist, or anyone else for that matter, takes a picture he follows a set of culturally specific conventions which determine the selection of subject matter and the treatment of that subject. In addition, the subject, if he is a member of a culture where pictures are normally taken, follows another set of "on camera" behaviors which shape his photographic presentation of self (my emphasis)."

"If asked, most anthropologists would separate themselves from the tourist photographer by saying that they have a scientific obligation to pictorially record any culture under study because that culture will undoubtedly undergo rapid change and they need to preserve this record for the future. This assumed responsibility and justification do cause us to take some pictures that the average tourist would not."

See also - Taking pictures movie.

Multicultural Poland? Did you know that?

2006-07-24T01:25:00.000+02:00

Here comes some pics from our holidays. Just some of them today ("the cemetery ones"), they comes from our travel to East Poland while we were looking for the cultural and social diversity we are not told about enough at schools (what we are going to be teached in there according to the newest ideas of the new government is another story and actually I don't want to write about this here. Now I understand what one proffesor meant when he said that "I think it's good you've changed your mind and will not do fieldwork in Poland. It's challenge to do one's first research in homeplace, especially you guys from East Poland who are so pissed off..." :) Yes, he was definitely right. I am too angry and too emotional about what is going on there to keep the necessary distance.

Anyway, we were on Podlasie on the East and visited those cultural and religious places that we thought are dying.

This is a Tatar mosque in Kruszyniany. There are living only 7 Tatar descendants there and the mosque is open only for religious holidays when the Muslims from the five Polish Muslim communities are gathering there. We were lucky to meet one of those who live in the village and we could see the mosque inside. We've also been told that the leader of Polish Muslim community is a woman! Wow, it was really surprising, especially that, as he said, they've adopted most of the Polish cultural and behavioural patterns so women as a leader for Polish and Muslim society was a big deal for us.

The Tatar cemetery mizar was place we were also surprised with. We were ashamed that we know SO little about our country. Shame on all of us who ignore the beauty right next to our fence!

Two kilometres from there we visited a Jewish cemetery in Krynki (in Polish, about Jews in Krynki in English here.

On the other side of the fence (now, literally) the Orthodox Church cemetery.

There was also a Catholic cemetery there but as I've visited those ones from the day I could walk I just didn't do any photos there. Actually, I should do this because Polish cemeteries looks quite different then those in West Europe.

10 kilometres from there, in Bialowieza, we visited Miejsce Mocy (The Place of Power), the Old Slavic ritual place. Travel.poland.com says: "Amid oaks and pines, sometimes with multiple trunks growing out of the same roots, there is a mysterious stone ring. Diviners claim that it generates an exceptionally strong magnetic field beneficial for humans. This strange energy removes fatigue and relieves pain. Bialowieza is said to be situated on a transcontinental radiation line which connects places like Gniezno, a legendary cult place in the Hartz Mountains, and a Catharist chapel in Druggelte, Westphalia." It's not a Stonehenge but it is worth seeing, especially that the place is situadted in the middle of Bialowieza Primeval Forest. It made me think about the difference between Polish and Norwegian treasuring the old history. While in Norway the medieval history for instance is one of the most important tourist target and one of the reasons to Norwegian pride, in Poland people seem to forget about our ancestors.

"If you came here for visdom and knowledge, ask and they will answer"

"If you brought here with you your "self" and want to organize the world forgetting God, leave this place alone, turn back on your own ways. They will lead you to the destination anyway"

Having experienced the cemetery diversity on so little space, the is one thing I wish to my country and to the whole world is that the living ones live beside each other as well so the dead ones (with all respect). "But they all are separated! Jews, Muslims, the Orthodox and Catholics, what a difference?! Couldn't they just be buried at the same place? It is enough we are separated when alive!" said a friend of mine. Maybe could, maybe not - we all know it is not so easy as it could seem. But the fence (= boundary) didn't make on me impression of an artificial division. Personally, I didn't find it problematic that all the three cemeteries are clearly limited. I think rather that those spaces are needed and as they outline some other ones for those who are still mourning after their loved ones they also keep some order in the religious universe. Anyway,

I am not religious. But visiting all saint places made me behave like a typical neophyte. I do not want to break any rules, not to offend anybody, not to make others feel uncomfortable and not to make anybody put curse on me:) So the funny picture at the end of this post. We were just going to enter St. Nicolas Orthodox Church in Bialowieza... (no no, I am not pretending being Orthodox - especially that at the place we were - Bialowieza, Suprasl, Krynki, Hajnowka, Grabarka - they are not too rigorous about covering the head! It is just a funny shot, I think)

Back in Norway. Still in Norway

2006-07-23T22:53:00.000+02:00

My my, I've been admitted to MA! I couldn't believe this when I came home Friday night and opened an envelope. Doomsday-like feelings. Funny when I came to Norway as an au-pair to practice my Norwegian before I went back to Gdansk in Poland and thought "It would be nice to be able to take at least one class at the uni to see how it is to study in Norway and to test myself". I was lucky to be guest student for one semester. I took Regional Ethnography and Introduction to Social Anthropology and was on cloud nine doing this. So I've applied to BA and decided to stay in Oslo and do what I REALLY desire. I got in and was totally ecstatic. You can imagine what I feel now!

So, show must go on and my time has come! I am inexpressibly happy and paralysed at the same time. But I think that this kind of paralysis is what I can cope with and what I am actually looking forward to in my life.

For those who want to read and speak Norwegian - two articels of mine have been published in ANTROPRESS. One is a little "manifesto" to Norwegian anthropology students and about their participation (or rather - non-participation) at conferences and meetings they have opportunity to. I am also comparing relations in Polish and Norwegian academia. The other one is dealing with morality and ethics problematic among medical staff in Poland and is about the well-known division on the private and public "self" and social roles and expectation. As mentioned before - nothing huge, but first time in Norway so I am quite proud. I just have to avoid thoughts like: "Oh God, I wrote this X months ago! Now I would write it totally different!" Agrhhrhrr... As far as I know this is the worse curse for all who publish something.

Step by step

2006-06-02T20:11:00.000+02:00

I am pleased to announce that Antropyton for the first time in her life has a higher education:):) Completed! :)

I've finished my undergraduate studies in Social Anthropology at the University of Oslo.

I've made my application for MA program here in Oslo. A title for my project sketch is: Med ask i lungene. Naturoppfatning og forholdet til vitenskapelige data hos folk i nicaraguanske landsbyer ved Cordillera Los Maribios (With ash in the lungs. Understanding of nature and attitude to scientific data in the Nicaraguan villages by Cordillera Los Maribios) .... In general - about knowledge about volcanos and theirs impact on people's health that is prodused by WHO, health organisations, NGOs, independent scientists and tourism entrepreneurs. About health definition, attitude to nature, body, invisible risks, risk management, production of knowledge, knowledge systems and so on.....

Frankly speaking, I am too nervous about results from application process to write about my plans more. Maybe later. Now I am taking my holidays and I'm not going to have much access to the internet in the next month when travelling and visiting my hometown and friends in Poland. But I will try to post some thoughts or pictures ... I don't know. We'll see...

So have a nice summer or holidays or whatever you are doing in the next 5 weeks:)

The rest is the silence...

2006-05-29T16:34:00.000+02:00

For those who have asked: I am REALLY busy right now.
2 exams yet.
working on my MA project.
working on two articles that should show up before summer (nothing big, but in norwegian so it takes time...).
working on money for holidays that I am going to inaugurate on Sunday on Svalbard/Spitsbergen.

so, keep your fingers crossed for me, especially for my application...

Campeone! Campeone!

2006-05-18T19:02:00.000+02:00

Man the maker, the tool-user, fabricator?

2006-05-17T22:36:00.000+02:00

Today I'm going to Trondheim to participate in Norwegian Anthropology Association Annual Conference (only in Norwegian). I am not having any individual paper (yet!:) but I'm really excited because this year's meeting has Homo Faber as a leitmotif. And workshops seem to be really interesting. They've scored a bullseye! Heh. So some thoughts and maybe a little report coming soon.

Yeah, MAN THE MAKER I like most!

Speaking about tool users and so on, I've been discovered (hehe) by some technology user anthrospy (he is damn good in what he is doing. I mean doing the site, not discovering me!) and I was cited for the first time in my life! APPLAUSE. And fortunately (for me) I didn't get panic as another student who was also cited at antropologi.info. It made me think about relations between students, doctors, professors and others, and about students' selfconfidence or lack of it actually. But this topic some other time... Anyway antropologi.info is an amazing website for all anthropology enthusiasts. It is in Norwegian, English and German. International and scandinavian news and blogroll that aggregates anthropology blogs from all over the world in chronological order. And it is updated every four hour so it is a real bargain. And it has a really good design! So thank you Lorenz and good luck!

Hard Core Tradition - 18-year-olds go crazy!

2006-05-16T19:17:00.000+02:00

May in

Norway

is a month of celebration. It’s a month when all Norwegians celebrate Norway's constitution adopted in 1814. It is also a month when thousands of younsters go totally wild!

Popularly known as "russ", these final year students traditionally wear red or blue overalls and now buy buses to paint them and decorate interior in order to win the competition for the best russebuss (you can see pictures of those here and here). Both clothes and this bus makeover cost them fortune. Those russ machines do not only have to look cool but they must sound as hell! (Yeah, I live next to the car park where these teenagers make parties. Or maybe I should say – where Sodom rules in her mayhem). I think this picture can illustrate what Oslo citizens (and not only, of course) have to tolerate. One of the buses that dominated last year’s craziness was equipped with enormous sound systems from Roskilde festival. You can imagine power of this bus!

In order to help pay for their mobile party bus more and more girls decide to take part in a porn film. And actually t is not strange that they do not hesitate to use their bodies to help in maintaining tradition. Pressure within this young environment is so big that they have to redefine both social values and their own image. This conversion of body into a symbol of being an adult takes hold also in the 101 knot-earning challenges. Russer compete with each other in extreme drunken debauchery, with certain tasks earning them the right to add knots to dangle from their caps. When earlier those task were quite innocent and harmless (history of russ in pictures - really funny!), today’s task challenge them in a new way. Some of the new tasks are for instance having sex with at least 17 partners, picking up a tender teen, getting a vagrant drunk and vomiting on the person next to you.

Social anthropologist Allan Sande wrote his doctoral thesis on the russe phenomenon. He explains this in terms of a transition ritual marking. The passage from childhood to adulthood typically marked with breaking rules. He argued that "the more traditional rites of passage are transformed into a passage to friendship, in which expressive individualism is stressed as a value, making the intoxication and fraternisation among youth a ritual of its own. Therefore, the use of alcohol can be defined as a key symbol in these ritual processes, offering an opportunity to communicate meanings between members in society and culture."

We read in Aftenposten that almost everbody agrees that russe time is a non-stop booze-fest but the traditional emphasis on earning recognition for drinking is gradually being replaced by an emphasis on sex. Social scientist have also explanation to this.

"They come to grips with taboos like sex and intoxication," Sande said. He isn't shocked by the latest wrinkles in the knot stakes. "It is a form of ritualized play, very organized and regulated. The recognition of the one with most knots, the elite russ, reflects our career society - the knots can be compared to a résumé," he said to Aftenposten.

Ethnologist Anne-Sofie Hjemdahl also sees this as a mirror of today's society.

"It is connected to the greater sexualization of society. Running naked down Karl Johan (Oslo's central, royal boulevard) would have been much more provocative 30 years ago. The taboos that the russ challenge are always changing," Hjemdahl said.

And a majority of Norwegians accept this reality. Police and fire brigades cooperate with thousands of wild Norwegians. Institutions use their middels to promote safe sex and pass out free condoms to help keep the revelry under control. Even authorities are going to "help the children play tradition" and want to move final exams in order "to improve results and modify party habits". It's funny that event that once was secondary to education, now has become central and is more important that the final exams. Funny is that the adults do tolerate this. Funny is that while government is really strict on us who want to smoke in the pub or to drink a beer in a park, thousands of drunk youngsters roam about in the city at night, sorry, in 3 weeks. Funny is when I recall my celebrity of my school graduation in Poland. We had and I believe there is still studniówka. It is a a formal dance held a hundred days before the school-leaving exams. 100 days! And it IS formal. A pair of parents from each class has to be there, when their foster childs try to celebrate their maturity! Well, every country has its own customs... hihi.

Why Nicaragua?

2006-05-09T08:03:00.000+02:00

Exam. Final. Not going out from my apartament. Secular asceticism. Voluntary cooperation with tiredness. In the meantime I play some poetry

Green plumes of the palm trees. Far off,
rough with antiquity, solemn with myth,
stands the stone tribe of old volcanoes
which, like all else, await their instant
of infinity.

(Rubén Darío, Noon)

Thomas Belomonte rules!

2006-05-05T21:08:00.000+02:00

Some memoirs from his ethnographic odyssey. "The Broken Fountain" - marvellous work. Piece of art. Poetic and technical. Literality knock-out. Literary conquest. Excellent for those who are afraid to "go out" or do not know how or just panic.

"Participant observation was a means to an end, but it was also an end in itself. It was an immersion in otherness, a prolonged listening, an alteration of self."

"In those early days I was apprehending only the surface of things, but there is much to be learned from surfaces."

"Most anthropological fieldworkers do not choose their informants. The informants choose them."

"Human experience rarely accumulates in neat patterns and piles. People do not grow like crystals."

"The real world is very much with poor families. They live close to the sources of their own daily reality. Anger is violence. Love is touch. Food is security. Money is blood."

"Hatred is a poor organizer."

Correction.

2006-05-05T16:51:00.000+02:00

Or maybe I am just tired.

Frustration. Preparing to exam.

2006-05-05T12:01:00.000+02:00

I hate theory! Especially all the stuff about gender... It is killing me. Exemplifying discoursive analysis and formations using gender issues?! BORING. I am in a trap, I know, I am in this perilous stage when I like to think: oh God, everybody already knows about it.

But...

it is important. It is important. It is important. It is important. It is important. It is important. It is important. It is important. It is important. It is important. It is important. It is important. It is important. It is important. It is important.

METHOD IS THE KEY.
UNDERSTANDING IS A GIFT.
THE SEA OF FRUSTRATION WILL TURN INTO A DESERT OF INTELLECTUAL FULFILMENT.
SAND NEED A WATER.
NOTORIOUS DIALOGUE BETWEEN EARTH AND THE SKY.

Newcomer's revelations. Spinosa's lenses.

2006-05-02T00:17:00.000+02:00

After day-long reading of books in qualitative methods I realized what challenges I am going to meet. I've realized that my MA project and my first fieldwork are going to be harder than I had thought. And that being researcher demands much more discipline than I had supposed. Truism of the newcomer!

The textbook I've just read "Systematikk og innlevelse. En innføring i kvalitativ metode" (Systematics and empathy. An introduction to qualitative method) by Tove Thagaard is one of those books that you do hesitate to read and you start reading because you have to. A textbook that seems to bore you rigid but you do hope that it will turn out to be inspiring and helpfull. This book was such. Just after few sides you realize how ignorant you are. Ignorance to the subject that you love so much. It is like dreaming of being a pilot. You have to go through a mass of boring theorethical courses to be able then to reach the sky. And you appreciate all the knowledge you had to assimilate, in spite of being filled with nausea at the sight of a killing stack of papers you had have to read. And you value it at once you sit in the cockpit.

Revelation! I needed it. Now I know I needed this book so much that I feel embarrassed with my own naivety. Novice's failure. Mistakes that your wisdom is built upon. Fortunately. Those mental experiences and "eurekas" that leads you to clear mind.

Reading of methodological secrets has coincided with the new design of this site. For those who hasn't been here before I post a picture that was a motif of my blog.

A few days ago I realized that I am not going to arrive anywhere if I am sitting naked in front of my objects of interest and watching them behind the glass. Symbolic nudity. I took off my clothes which were my identity, experiences and values. In my artless searching for objectivity I was trying to throw away everything that could influence my understanding of "the others". What a foolishness! I was like sitting and gawking at the picture that was becoming more and more vague and impossible to read (Yeah, yeah, I knew all this about participation and so on, but the case is some mental block that all of us have to break at some point). Phenomena and objects of my interest became like this screen that consists of billions of dots and I was not able to grasp the meaning.

And then I found this picture from "Five Obstructions" and I realized that I mustn't lose myself and my "self" to understand "the others". I have to be like this plastic screen that absorbs the two sides of reality. Of course, this picture is an exaggeration of my ideal but I think that it is what anthropology is about. Participate but be yourself. And observe. Don't try to cheat yourself. You can watch the glass screen but the image is becoming blurred the more you try to see something. An anthropologist has to be able to go to the other side and come back and not reject what she/he was and still is. And while analysing and presenting results, you have to be the plastic screen that does not take side with anybody.

See both side!
Participate!
Remeber who you are!

z maila od K.

2006-04-29T19:05:00.000+02:00

"Teraz już się pieskow nie wyprowadza, ale przewietrza."

Body redefinition & new social statuses.

2006-04-28T13:58:00.000+02:00

Some thoughts from and about my syllabus in SOSANT2550.

Together with medical improvements both social and body ideologies have changed. Medicalization of our lives has made people to change image of themselves as humans and as social actors. Human body has gotten a new dimension and individuals have began to experience themselves in a new way. We have got new statuses we have to cope with.

My reading of Das is that the emergence of discipline of geriatrics has brought about new definition of a healthy and “normal” body and has caused confusion between individual and social identities. It has also created a new category of sick people – the older ones. New definition of health has caused that aging has been reconceptualized as a disease and the ideology of the perfectly ordered body, which can be achieve through medicaments, as a sign of normalcy dominates the image of life cycle. Behaviour and health conditions, once normal and even noble (Kawagley, Turnbull), have been transformed to disability and this one to sickness that requires medical treatment. Due to dominant ideology in which there is no place to age dominated weakness both bodies and minds of the older are going through radical transformation. It has shaped difficulty with maintaining definitive boundaries between “the normal” and “the pathological”. The old do not feel as they feel but often as they are told to feel. They have to redefine their self and body images and this redefinition concerns the individual body as well as social one. This is another aspect of medicine as a power. Modern welfare state intervenes not only in social space and the economic cycle but also in the life cycle. This kind of total and often brutal medicalization and hospitalization in the contemporary world has also changed our images about the successful life and made health to be one of the determinant of social status. And this status is seen rather as achieved than ascribed one (Scheper-Hughes & Lock 1987: 25). Health designates success while sickness is a failure. Susan Sontag writes about shame and social ostracism that follows for instance getting a cancer diagnosis.

The story of the disaster in Bhopal (Das) shows the conflict that has aroused between expert knowledge and individual, “private” knowledge. While the latter was treated as a “subjective” in nature, medical staff’s expertise was seen as the only objective way to “measure” people’s health. People were said that this is only through laboratory test and modern technology the “real” and “objective” statement about health could be done. People in Ukraine were also told that their recognitions of symptoms and abnormality of their bodies were not “real” (Petryna). Victims of both disasters were deprived of their rights to make statements about their condition and symptoms that said them that obviously something wrong happened to their bodies. Ordinary people’s definition of health is refused to being valid. Victims of these disasters are also victims of the institutionalization of health. Their social position prevents them to take benefits from medical development and this contributes, according to Das, to social distribution of disease. This is a new kind of powerlessness that is being put into effect.

To exemplify how policies make use of property of new knowledge Das uses body politics in India. According to her, family planning, birth control and vasectomy are pure execution of power upon the poor, uneducated and people that do not have access to this knowledge. Medicine reduces these people to unaware receivers or often “slaves” of the new regimes. “The poorest, and the most vulnerable sections of the population become the object of this new exercise of power and see it in continuation with other kinds of power to which their lives are routinely subjected” (Das 1990: 42).

Examples Das uses emphasize both Foucault (The Birth of Social Medicine), Armstrong, Flikke’s points about ideologies which prefer the social body to individual body. They also show that at the same time medicalization has brought about a missed identification between the individual and the social body and caused transformation of the social into the biological (Scheper-Hughes & Lock 1987: 10). Medical developments change people’s perception, introduce new social landscapes and categories, and have an actual influence on both individual, social and cultural identity.

references without links:

Scheper-Hughes, Nancy, and Margaret Lock 1987. The Mindful Body: A Prolegomenon to Future Work in Medical Anthropology. In: Medical Anthropology Quarterly. International Journal for the Cultural Analysis of Health, 1 (1). pp. 6-41

The Urban Phyton. The literal meanings.

2006-04-27T00:13:00.000+02:00

Talking about nature and culture... I am not surprised there's no longer "versus". Do not skip intro!! I remember that my father collected stamps. heh. But, what a name!! Urban animals in the literal sense - city, mass, machine - production.

+ I've just read in some newspaper about artificial beaches and what was funny/scary was the fact that "the roof is drawn aside ONLY when the weather conditions outside are as PERFECT as inside. Marvellous example of creeping mass delusion (in the postmodern hysterical need for the perfect). People have become genius in creating "the perfect human" but now it's time for the perfect world , again - in the literal sense. As gregpio has mentioned the new social spaces are formed, and those spaces are not for everybody. But still, these new spaces that offer this artificial "meeting with nature" (sic!) are going to be so popular that perhaps one day those who can not afford to this luxury, will end up in a green forest or at one of unkept lawnes that now keep them away with 'keep off the grass' signs.

While the perfect human is sitting here... And he has found what this extravagance means. Sorry for being emotional.

Jørgen Leth in "Fem bespænd" (Five Obstructions) 2003.

Wiadomosc technicza.

2006-04-21T19:57:00.000+02:00

zaczynaja sie pytania. co na wakacje? oswiadczam wiec wszem i wobec, ze takowe beda. i mam nadzieje, ze beda takowe. psik. plan jest i prosze znac dac kto gdzie bedzie usytuowany miedzy 03.06 a 7.07 cobym mogla plany zrewidowac, dopisac, wyciac. podejrzewam niestety, ze wiekszosc z was bedzie w miejscach dla mnie niedostepnych w tym terminie, ale nigdy nic nie wiadomo. mam ochote odwiedzic was wszystkich tego lata. a co w planach:

spitsbergen
oslo
berlin
zielona gora
10.06 jakas wiocha pod zielona czyli weselicho (nie moje)
poznan
gdansk
inflanty
pulawy, kazimierz
lublin (szakira gdzie ty mieszkasz jak jestes tu?? a poza tym jak masz na nazwisko??:)
wroclaw
zielona gora
berlin
06.07 oslo
i zyli dlugo i szczesliwie pracujac na skøyen...

Ignorance on all fronts. 4th power HAS a power.

2006-04-21T18:37:00.000+02:00

Once at the post office one of my workmates said about another one: "No, she's not from Poland. She is from Chechoslovakia"! Speechless. What the...?! First I thought that Chech Republic in Norwegian is Tsjekkoslovakia as he had said and it was my knowledge of geographical and administrative names that left a lot to be desired. Well, my Norwegian is good enough to know what countries are my neigbours! After I had shaked off the shock I forced myself not to invest what had just happened with any significance. But I couldn't stop being astonished by the ignorance of people. The only way to recover from this mental stroke of lightning was to think: ok, a postman does not have to know all european countries. Not only it wasn't a big help but I felt guilty for what I had thought as well. It wasn't fair. But these pricks of conscience didn't wipe out the distaste which I still feel.

It was two years ago. New Chech Republic and Slovakia are two years older. But nothing has changed. I've got used to ignorance of people that are around me. But today I stopped wondering why these people do have difficulty in remembering what countries are in Europe. I do not demand knowledge of history, I am not a historical genius neither. But how can they say that "Praha is so in" when they don't know the name of the country? I hope they do take a passport when going shopping to this "coolest capital of Europe".

So today I've read an article in Aftenposten, the most influential and opinion-forming newspaper in Norway. As I had noticed elsewhere paper's catchword is "it's good to know". Today I've read that:

Storbritannia (...) har levert en offisiell protest mot Norges fangst av vågehval.
(...) Den skriftlige protesten er undertegnet av 11 andre land i tillegg til Storbritannia, nemlig Argentina, Australia, Belgia, Brasil, Frankrike, Nederland, New Zealand, Spania, Tsjekkoslovakia, Tyskland og Østerrike.

11 countries, besides GB, have signed a protest against Norwegian whaling - Argentina, Australia, Belgium, Brasil, France, Netherlands, New Zealand, Spain, Chechoslovakia, Germany and Austria.

Speechless.

If I had read Aftenposten everyday I would probably have thought that Chechoslovakia is a beautiful country in Eastern Africa or in Malaysia... Oh no, I am sorry, I have never heard about Norwegian aid there. Yeah, that's why I don't know what the hell Chech Republic is.

To safeguard (mini)tradition.

2006-04-19T21:31:00.000+02:00

I haven't done this since I was maybe 10 years old. Is it possible to break from tradition? I have allways thought that it is something inborn (well, not inborn, but something that we can not just reject. It is like using fork when eating. We were taught to eat this way but we think it is natural - yuck, another truism!!). Something we have. No, actually it was something They have because I've allways suffered from being rootless. Or from getting rid of feeling of common root. There are two kind of tradition. Tradition with a big "T" and tradition that appears only in the plural. I've neglected both. No, Tradition has been abandoned.

Emigration makes people create their own world. They create new networks that should mirror what we had been used to before moving abroad. On the other hand these new connections are made to find ourselves in this new geographical and social space. And to prove that we are going to manage new dimension, new life. In the naive belief we try to break away from a group we had belonged to. This ambiguity is an inextricable part of every emigrant's life. We have to remember that majority is not coming abroad with specified aims. Paradoxically shapelessness of our expectations, hopes and images does shape us.

In quest for a feeling of belonging we make connections. Relations. Network. Forced community. Unfortunately, with the passing of time these synthetic fibres are not enough...

Ok, I've just realized that I am not writing about what I had planned to do. Nevermind. What I wanted to mention is that I've really understood what social scientists call for tradition's rebirth. I've understood the emotional behind revival movements (for once without digressions about politics and my obsessive talking about groups of interest). I've understood that traditions can survive without Tradition. Continuity without faith and will to continue.

The prevalence of the extraordinary.

2006-04-12T11:56:00.000+02:00

Show me your metro station and I will tell you where you are from... Ok, I do really love pictures of metro/rail stations, believe it or not they tell a little bit about country, people, even politics. (Yeah, overinterpretation, but if it is argued that architecture is a mirror of social mentality, an expression of collective attitudes of the time, why the "law" architecture can't be such a reflection? I don't mean the carbon copy, the "high" architecture is not such either, but it can provide a good starting point to reflect on society.) Funny? Untrue? Boring? Maybe. But have you never tried to figure out what kind of people are waiting at this or that platform? They do not use the place in a way the tourist or the strange enthusiasts of the oridinary do. Whereas those places are only components of their lives, parts that are used to being thrown away from the conscious memory and do not attract our attention, the strangers watch eagerly every movement of the air. We rush through this day-to-day reality without reflecting over all this stuff that the strangers do. I am really fascinated, and worried, with how we miss the essential in our everyday life.

So today I've found some pictures of my everyday humdrum taken from totally new perspective. And they've shed light on how my perception has been reduced. When we are looking at the picture the mundane in a way becames the sacred, the mystique, the dream of all those who have got used to. We miss place we do not know, I miss them! And I thought that now when I do not notice movement of the air any more, I do have to accustom my eyes to the darkness. This is the only way to survive boths as an ethnographist and as a human.

It is so easy to forget that there will not be any palace without striking the match.

And here is my day-to-day magic, step by step...station by station...
Give me yours then.

Catalonian street art or art of street selling?

2006-04-09T13:36:00.001+02:00

So, what about using nature (birds) to create a culture? Do they still belong to nature or they have been transformed into culture due to having been transformed into art? Have they ever been nature? I do not know if somebody wanted to sell the birds or if it was just expression of somebody's aesthetic views. But still, these birds are there.

Question: what statements about our attitudes can be done when the boundaries are unknown? Chewong, a small group of aboriginal people of the Malay tropical rainforest, do not differentiate between these two in a way we do. Their culture is built upon nature, as all are supposed to be, but they do not make distinction between these two dimensions. In a context of modern (or postmodern?) art we are like Chewong and others. But, there is culture that has imported what before had been reserved to the natural domain. And we do remain this classification despite proving all over again that "there are no boundaries any more!". The fact that they do not exist ANY MORE indicates something.

I think it is worth to research the art performances in a way they use both the natural symbols and objects. In this case, nature in the popular meaning has been reduced to an object. How we perceive performances as this one, depends on our perceptions of this object. Or in other words - if we perceive the birds as an object or as a manifestation of nature. And why do we still try to prove the holistic worldview which is actually against our "nature"?

Eugenijus Ališanka and my thoughts

2006-04-07T22:47:00.000+02:00

the capitals of empires all smell of spices: bay leaves, black pepper, bergamot
in the middle of the square crystal water pours forth from the lions' jaws
in the architecture one can decipher
the palimpsest of proud loneliness and ennui
the heat of the siesta and the sherry awaken my imagination:
i see the first signs of desire in a girl's face
i already know how it will all end
i will metamorphose into a bull and
i will carry her away to the curonian lagoon
the daughter of toreadors and the mother of my poems
she will bear nation upon nation and my blood will flow
in the veins of the vysla and the nemunas
a lot will happen in my lifetime –
there will be wars and there will be famine
i will betray others and will be betrayed
i will stroll through cities in undarned socks
i will visit my sons-in-law all over europe
mayors heads of state street girls
a lot will happen but i know it will end well
as all journeys do in the land of morpheus

"in the middle of the afternoon i sat with my friend don quixote in a café and sampled sherry"

Gastro-nationalism in Catalonia.

2006-04-07T22:42:00.000+02:00

Gastro-nationalism: 1. The use of gastronomical habits and food to maintain and sustain a particular notion of self and identity formation on the national level. 2. A means of identity demarcation.
More about this term and it's author: here.

Propozycje do MA

2006-04-05T14:31:00.000+02:00

No i zbliza sie ten czas, na ktory tak czekalam. Pojechac, zbadac, napisac. Ale najpierw trza napisac projekt krociotki a potem dostac sie na studia hehe. No wiec mysle, a po swietach mam spotkac sie z panem Haraldem Beyer Broch by przedyskutowac moje ewentualne propozycje. Tak sie cieszylam na ten czas, ze radosc ta mnie sparalizowala i wszystkie tematy wydaja mi sie nie tym czym powinny byc. W kazdym razie, co wiem: Ameryka Centralna, najpradopodobniej Nikaragua, badanie w ramach "Natura, Kultura, Spoleczenstwo". Wiecej o programie na stronie instytutu. Problem w tym, ze ta Nikaragua przyszla mi do glowy z tak zwanego nikad, niewiele o niej czytalam, niewiele wiec wiem. No ale wszystko przede mna. A to co mi na razie przyszlo do glowy. Chetnie przyjme komentarze!!! Moge na przyklad spelnic jakies wasze zyczenie. Sa rzeczy, nad ktorymi sie zastanawiacie - dajcie znac, moze okaze sie zlota rybka huehue.

1. "When flash becomes meat" - czyli o transformacji natury w kulture. + wplyw religii na postrzeganie tego procesu. Chrzescijanska hierarchia swiata (czlowiek:zwierze), ktora ladnie wylozyl Thomas Keith a panteizm Mosquito. Inspiracja: Animal to edible. Miejsce: rzeznia. Miejska czy na wsi? Minus - dostep do danych, wiekszosc musialaby sie opierac na zaplanowach wywiadach. Nie wiem czy znioslabym polroczne przebywanie wsrod miesa - smrod moglby mnie zabic.

2. "Risk management" - czyli jak mieszkancy okolic wulkanicznych postrzegaja ryzyko katastrof naturalnych, zycie przy aktywnych wulkanach itp. Niestety mogloby to przypominac prace Eline Stangeland z 2004, w ktorej pisala wlasnie o pojmowaniu ryzyka i tozsamosci miejsca na Islandii. Zeby nie zrobic powtorki z rozrywki musialabym polozyc nacisk na stosunek nikaraguanczykow do tzw. wiedzy ekspertow. Czyli pokazac zwiazki miedzy wiedza lokalna a ekspertyza naukowa. Moglabym to tez powiazac z antropologia medyczna - definicja zdrowia itp. Ewentualnie rozwazyc porownanie podejscia do zanieczyszczen naturalnych (pyl wulkaniczny) i nienaturalnych (czyli calego fabrycznego swinstwa:). + reakcja na przymusowe przesiedlenia. Plus - troche Mary Douglas. Minus - nie wiem czy nie pisze sie o tym za duzo. Prawdopodobnie duzo siedzenia w dokumentacjach medycznych i ekologicznych.

3. Nie moge przestac myslec o Life Exposed : Biological Citizens after Chernobyl Adriany Petryny. Moze wiec jakies studium miejskie? Choc niekoniecznie przeciez. Musialabym zbadac katastrofy ekologiczne. Dobry pretekst by wspomniec o teori przejecia wladzy nad naszymi zmyslami. Plus - duzo Mary Douglas. Minus - Ulrich Beck musialby przemowic, a nie wiem czy mam ochote z nim znow dyskutowac. I zbyt duzo politycznosci.

4. Inspiracja: "The meaning of water" - mowi samo za siebie. Czyli o wszelkich aspektech wody, ktorej maja tam duzo heh. + ewentualnie podejscie do jej prywtyzacji, jesli ten temat nie zostal juz doszczetnie wyczerpany (przepraszam od razu panow z instytutu, ktorzy uwazaja, ze ZADEN temat nie jest wyczerpany, a zaden ekosystem zbyt maly by go zbadac:) Minus - obszernosc i mozliwosci tematu moga stanowic zagrozenie dla moich Dänikenowskich tendencji:) A powaznie to skoncze potem.

Zacmienie. Augusto Monterroso

2006-04-04T00:20:00.000+02:00

Ach, zajecie z literatury Ameryki Lacinskiej okazaly sie nie takim marnotrastwem jak myslalam. Zdarzyl sie smaczek. Najpiekniejszy fragment beletrystyki o ignorancji kulturowej. Wysmienita ironia (zeby nie powiedziec smakowita!). "Nasza" wiedza? "Nasz" uniwersalizm? Wydaje mi sie, ze niewiele zmienilo sie od czasow Karola V. Zamieszczam oryginal, tlumaczenie ponizej.

"Cuando Fray Bartolomé Arrazola se sintió perdido aceptó que ya nada podría salvarlo. La selva poderosa de Guatemala lo había opresado, implacable y definitiva. Ante su ignorancia topográfica se sentó con tranquilidad a esperar la muerte. Quiso morir allí, sin ninguna esperanza, aislado con el pensamiento fijo en la España distante, particularmente en el convento de Los Abrojos, donde Carlos Quinto condescendiera una vez a bajar de su eminencia para decirle que confiaba en el celo religioso de su labor redentora.

Al despertar se encontró rodeado por un grupo de indígenas de rostro impasible que se disponían a sacrificarlo ante un altar, un altar que a Bartolomé le pareció como el lecho en que descansaría, al fin, de sus temores, de su destino, de sí mismo.

Tres años en el país le habían conferido un mediano dominio de las lenguas nativas. Intentó algo.

Dijo algunas palabras que fueron comprendidas.

Entonces floreció en él una idea que tuvo por digna de su talento y de su cultura universal y de su arduo conocimiento de Aristóteles. Recordó que para ese día se esperaba un eclipse total de sol. Y dispuso, en lo más intimo, valerse de ese conocimiento para engañar a sus opresores y salvar la vida.

-Si me matáis -les dijo- puedo hacer que el sol se oscurezca en su altura.

Los indígenas lo miraron fijamente y Bartolomé sorprendió la incredulidad en sus ojos. Vio que se produjo un pequeño consejo, y esperó confiado, no sin cierto desdén.

Dos horas después el corazón de fray Bartolomé Arrazola chorreaba su sangre vehemente sobre la piedra de los sacrificios (brillante bajo la opaca luz de un sol eclipsado), mientras uno de los indígenas recitaba sin ninguna inflexión de voz, sin prisa, una por una, las infinitas fechas en que se producirían eclipses solares y lunares, que los astrónomos de la comunidad maya habían previsto y anotado en sus codices sin la valiosa ayuda de Aristóteles."

Tlumaczenie

Pare mysli o Barcy

2006-04-02T22:44:00.000+02:00

1. Dzielismy pare metrow kwadratowych z Polka, Hiszpankami i Peruwianczykiem (plus dwie Moldawki jednej nocy). Peruwianczykow bylo dwoch podobno, ale jeden byl ewidentnym okazem skrajnej homofobii i wlasciwie to musielimy uwierzyc gospodyni, ze on istnieje. Bedac tam jeszcze jeden dzien dluzej zaczelabym optowac za uznaniem Bunuela za realiste!!! Ale juz te pare dni w totalnym absurdzie przekonalo mnie, ze Kika to niemal naturalistyczne dzielo a Almodovar wcale nie jest karykaturzysta!! Te kobiety takie sa naprawde!

2. Obecnosc kobiet na meczu futbolowym i ich aktywnosc tamze zachwialy tez moim, wlasciwie nie uzasadnionym niczym konkretnym, wyobrazeniem o poludniowej macho-kulturze i tamtejszym nie-rodzinnym patriarchalizmie. Lub odwrotnie: pilka nozna w Katalonii nie jest domena mezczyzn.

3. Prawda, mowi sie rowniez o silnej pozycji kobiety w rodzinie. W pewnym momencie w historii nauki o rodzinie nastapila schizma. Podzial na wyznawcow poludniowego patriarchalizmu lub tych co uznaja matriarkalny schemat rodziny za obowiazujacy. Bedac krotko, za krotko by wypowiadac jakiekolwiek sady na temat Katalonii, a poludnia tym bardziej, moge mimo wszystko uznac obie prawdy za watpliwe. Nie, nie podwarzam niczego. Zastanawiam sie tylko dlaczego nikt (jesli ktos jednak sie spotkal z tym - dajcie znac) nie staral sie znalezc tak zwanego zlotego srodka? Przeciez model rodziny nie musi byc ani bialy ani czarny. Dlaczego w naukach brakuje szarosci? Owszem, mowi sie o "problematycznosci" i "zlozonosci" tego tematu, ale dlaczego tak bac sie wyposrodkowania? Mezowie krzycza na zony i podkreslaja, kto jest panem, zony piszcza na mezow, ktorzy robia co zona nakarze. Przepraszam za uproszczenie, ale jak inaczej zilustrowac w jednym zdaniu czym jest wladza w rodzinie?

4. W Barcelonie pachnialo mi tez islamem. Nie wiem czemu, ale to miasto dla mnie mogloby byc muzulmanska metropolia. Nie zdziwiliabym sie gdybym nagle uslyszala nawolywania z ktoregos z meczetow. Moze to przez palmy, moze przez te orientalne ornamenty, ktore co rusz wylanialy sie z ukrycia, moze znajomosc historii, a moze po prostu bym tego chciala...

5. Ile oni tam pala!!! Ach, jak dobrze bylo odpoczac od tego landrynkowego tutejszego zdrowia...

"I'm going to Europe". Well, what DOES it actually mean?

2006-04-02T19:37:00.001+02:00

W Barcelonie czulam sie jak w Polsce. Panowie mieli wasy a panie niemodne rajstopy. Wniosek - jak latwo dzieli sie swiat i jak latwo o uogolnienia. Amerykanin mowi: jade do Europy. Europejczyk jedzie do Stanow. Azjata do Ameryki Poludniowej. Dla Skandynawow wszystko ponizej to Poludnie. Uogolniamy, bo TAM jest inaczej niz U NAS. Ja bylam wlasnie na Tym Poludniu. I zdziwilam sie jak szybko organizm i umysl przyzwyczaja sie do "punktu odniesienia". Jak szybko czlowiek przywyka do tego co wokol... Tak jak Camus budzimy sie rano i juz jestesmy zaznajomieni. (Dlatego smialam sie z moich motylkow brzusznych na mysl: o rany! Jade za granice! Kolejny pretekst by ruszyc dalej? Zrobilo sie domowato ale wciaz nie domowo.) W Hiszpani bylo inaczej niz TU w Norwegii czyli bylam na Poludniu. Czyli czulam sie jak w Polsce. Smieszne.

Pare wrazen: ciasne mieszkania z widokiem na sciane. Mieszkanie w kolektywie jest niezwykle popularnym rozwiazaniem nawet dla starszych - w Norwegii i w Polsce malzenstwa rzadko decyduja sie na takie warunki. Latynosi na budowach. Na mecz FCB przychodzi mnostwo starszych pan a panowie na nie nie krzycza a nawet z nimi dyskutuja na temat tego co sie dzieje na boisku. Hiszpanie mowia ciszej niz sie spodziewalam. Maly respekt dla prawa. Czuc katalonska dume. Punkowcy bardziej ruchliwi huehue. Zapach moczu i psa. Lingwistyczne odrodzenie. Wciaz nie umiem poslugiwac sie EURO. Poczucie, ze jeszcze wiecej przed nami. Nawet juz wiem co dalej.

Stworz swoja mape Europy

Mapy polityczne Europy kojarza mi sie zawsze z atlasem historycznym, a dokladniej z wojnami, przemarszami wojsk lub ogolnymi strategiami militarnymi. Wam nie? Ta na przyklad wyjatkowo kojarzy mi sie z bitwa pod Stalingradem, nie wiem czemu. Albo z jakims absurdalnym rozkladem chmur komunizmu. Przerazila mnie ta mapa. Widmo Pokoizmu jakies takie niemrawe...

Visca Barca!

2006-03-18T23:42:00.001+01:00

Janie, dzis to twoje moje sfiksowanie lazilo za mna dzien caly. Nicpon! - czy takich slow godzi mi uzywac? hehe. Bedzie wiec wiecej na temat moich fiksacji i innych takich, zdalam sobie dzis sprawe, ze faktycznie mam sprane co nie co... ehhh... potem...

Tymczasem wybywam. Czystki duchowo-portfelowe, zapowiadajace sie na katharsis. ehhh. Reszta jest milczeniem. A po milczeniu Pyton zaczal przemawiac... (Ksiega Serpentito 3, 28)

Zycie jak z reklamy. Pozorny absurd.

2006-03-13T23:16:00.001+01:00

W Norwegii zbliza sie czas rekrutacji do szkol wyzszych, w zwiazku z czym metra, przystanki i slupy informacyjne kwitna - bo mowi sie, ze studenci to kwiat narodu. Studenci - niekoniecznie mlodziez - system bolonski to jeden ze slusznych dokonan reform w Europie. Choc wciaz nie moge sie przyzwyczaic, ze odmieniam czasowniki z 60-letnia Grete i przygotowuje referat z 45-letnim Trondem, to jestem pelna zachwytu dla mozliwosci, jakie ten system (oczywiscie w sprzyjajacych warunkach spoleczno-ekonomicznych) oferuje.

I tak, celujac w te grupe spoleczna, ktora na przyklad w Polsce szans na edukacje jeszcze (bo juz) nie ma, uczelnie promujac siebie uzywaja hasel, ktore w tutejszej rzeczywistosci sa doslowne: "Na nauke nigdy nie jest za pozno!", "Mozesz przezyc to na nowo" i tym podobnych. W drugim przedziale druga wersja uczelnianych wyscigow, ktorych hasla ostrzegaja: "Czas studiow jest tylko raz w zyciu!" czy "Wykorzystaj swoj umysl poki nie jest za pozno!".

Podazajac sladem logiki marketingowej latwo Nam bedzie zrozumiec te dwubiegunowosc. Ciekawa jednak jest produkcja, definicja i gra kategoriami spolecznymi jaka w tym okresie prowadzi przemysl reklamowy. W spoleczenstwie, gdzie samodoskonalenie nie tyle jest popularne, co mozliwe, gra ta na szczescie sluzy pozytywnej afirmacji. Uczacy sie 20-latek widzi sens i slusznosc swojego wyboru. Studiujaca Grete czuje akceptacje i spoleczne przyzwolenie. A smiejacy sie z plakatu Trond dodaje rowiesnikom otuchy i odwagi. W spoleczenstwie rownych szans w pozornie drazniacych przeciwienstwach, ktore serwuje Nam przemysl mozemy doszukac sie komplementarnosci. A szukac dlugo nie musimy, bo "reklamowa bajka" nie jest tak bardzo odlegla. Wystarczy wyslac sms'a a "kazdy moze byc mlody". Po raz pierwszy lub po raz dziesiaty.

Nasza osiedlowa anonimowosc...

2006-03-10T18:32:00.000+01:00

Jest wiele zalet pracowania w tak zwanym serwisie. Jedna z nich jest mozliwosc doswiadczenia, czasem nawet fizycznie, tego o czym mowia statystyki.
W Norwegii duzo sie czyta (niektorzy co prawde nie godza sie ze mna mowiac, ze w Norwegii sie duzo gazet KUPUJE). "Wiem, bo czytam" i "dobrze jest wiedziec" (det er godt å vite) nie jest wiec czystym sloganem. Jak juz wczesniej gdzies pisalam, dla Skandynawow pojecie solidarnosci, wspolnoty i rownosci tez nie sa odartymi ze znaczen haslami. Co wiec ma wspolnego pojecie przynaleznosci z gazetami. Otoz, jako skromny listonosz roznosze nie tylko listy, paczki i rachunki ale rowniez reklamy i gazety (kolejnosc przypadkowa hihi). A gazet tych jest mnostwo!! Co sobote do skrzynki przecietnego domostwa wrzucam przynajmniej jedna gazete lokalna, ktorych tytuly po pierwsze nic mi ani innym kolegom po fachu nie mowia ale i wiekszosc z nas nie jest w stanie wymowic tychze tytulow! Jak na stolice przystalo zjezdzaja sie do niej mieszkancy przeroznych miast, miescin i miescinek. I nie, nie zapominaja oni o swoich korzeniach, nie probuja sztucznie nasladowac tutejszego dialektu, nie wyrzekaja sie swojej tozsamosci... Norwegowie pielegnuja swoj Heimat. Pielegnuja pamiec o tym co daleko, skute lodem jest ich mala ojczyzna. Tak, prenumerata lokalnych gazet jest zdecydowanie tego swiadectwem. Bo jak inaczej mozna wytlumaczyc, ze tysiace (chcialam powiedziec miliony, ale ich przeciez sa tylko 4 miliony!! hi) Norwegow interesuje sie, kto skrecil noge w przereblu kolo sklepu, gdzies pod Bergen, ze szkolny teatrzyk otrzymal nowa sale, ze Håkon ozenil sie z Marie, a Karoline z miasteczka o uroczej nazwie Å odwiedzi przedszkole by pokazac zdjecia z wyprawy do Bodø (odlegle o jakies 50 km) ? Aktywnosc Norwegow na szeczblu lokalnym jest zadziwiajaca!! Ktos musi te gazety pisac, ktos musi je czytac. Obie formy swiadcza o niezwyklym, moim zdaniem, zaangazowaniu, ktore jest powszechnie doceniane i szanowane. Gazety lokalne sa nieodlacznym elementem zycia ludzi, ktorzy przybywaja znad najodleglejszych fjordow do innych czesci kraju.

Czy ktos z Was wie co dzieje sie na Waszym osiedlu? Czy ktos z Was wie, kto jest w zarzadzie spoldzielni? Czy ktos z Was zna nazwisko dozorcy? Podejrzewam, ze 99.9 % z Nas nie jest swiadoma, ani tez nie jest zainteresowana tym "co w trawie piszczy". Z doswiadczenia wiem, ze lokalne przedsiewziecia, chociazby dziennikarskie nie ciesza sie ani popularnoscia, ani szacunkiem. No chyba, ze ktoras z gazet jest najtansza w kiosku, wtedy jej poczytnosc wzrasta. Bo niestety, ale w Polsce lokalny nie kojarzy sie jakoscia, a tak zwana "klasa srednia" gardzi informacjami z podworka. Faktem jest, ze wczoraj jeden z moich kolegow listonoszy dostal skarge od pani, ktora ma "tymczasowe przeadresowanie" a ktora nie otrzymuje lokalnego informatora "Ullernavis". Jest to darmowy informator komunalny, ktory raz na tydzien wrzucamy do KAZDEJ skrzynki w tej dzielnicy. Ja traktowalam to jako reklame i nie przyszlo mi do glowy by poczte niezaadresowana przeadresowywac (czego oczywiscie robic nie musimy). Okazalo sie, ze pani przebywajaca gdzies hen hen bez gazety sie nie obejdzie. A to jeden z takich przypadkow, gdzie okazuje sie, ze TU to wlasnie ta moja osiedlowa anonimowosc jest fenomenem. Anonimowosc, ktora z kolei ja i wielu z Nas pielegnuje. Tak mi sie wydaje. Mam racje?

Dzien Kobiet.

2006-03-07T23:57:00.001+01:00

Za 3 minuty Swieto. Niech bedzie. Od paru dni zarowno panie jak i panowie wreczaja mi ulotki zapraszajace na festiwale, pokazy, przedstawienia, dyskoteki, koncerty, wieczorki poezji, debaty i pikiety. Na wszystkich widnieje magiczna Osemka. O historii swieta mozna poczytac tu i tam. Kazdy ma swoja opowiesc. Ciekawy jest rodzwiek miedzy historia tej kobiecej celebracji, oficialnymi definicjami i ideologiami wokolo tejze a powszechnym traktowaniem swieta. A stalo sie ono kolejnym pretekstem dla grup interesow. Gosposia chce kwiatka, feministka zamienia go na bagnet, mniejszosci narodowe i autochtoni podkreslaja rownosc "waszych" i "naszych" kobiet. Jest to kolejny dzien, w ktorym mozemy zauwazyc jak daleko naszej prywatnosci do publicznej plaszczyzny. Dzien Ksiezniczek stal sie Dniem Bojowniczek. Historia zakresla petle i przypomina o strajkach, o kongresach, o roku 1911, 1918... A przypomina o tym nie tylko politykom, historykom, aktywistom spolecznym; stara sie obudzic kazdego kto, w drodze do kwiaciarni minie kolejne przystanki oblepione plakatami zapraszajace do walki.
Swieto trwa od 15 minut. Zjem kwiatka na balkonie.

Said said...

2006-03-03T15:10:00.000+01:00

Organizowana jest ostatnimy czasy calkiem ciekawa imprezka pt. "Krytyczny pokoj". Wspolpraca miedzy Frogner Kino, Festiwalem Filmow z Poludnia i Kinem Dokumentalnym. W skrocie: film + debata. W ramach poszukiwania inspiracji wybralismy sie we wtorek do tego pokoju. Temat: Polaryzacja: Zachod - Bliski Wschod. Pierwszy film byl dokumentem-wywiadem. Swoich madrosci uzyczal nam Edward Said. Znany przede wszystkim za rewolucyjne dzielo "Orientalizm". Tak, podejmowanie tematu stereotypow i wyobrazen o Innych nie jest dla Nas niczym rewolucyjnym. Tymbardziej nie jest kontrowersyjne. Ale ktos musial zaczac otwierac Nam oczy. Said tego dokonal. Majac korzenie w tym, co dla Nas egzotyczne, nie godzil sie na sposob, w jaki Bliski Wschod jest przedstawiany na Zachodzie. Orientalizm. Nasze wyobrazenia, ktorych odzwierciedleniem byla sztuka. Punkt drugi to polityka. Nie chce referowac dziela Saida wiec na tym poprzestane.
Wywiad opatrzony popowo-spolecznymi obrazkami z mediow jest poprawna pomoca naukowa. Przeslanie - niekonczaca sie, bledna i krzywdzaca reprodukcja stereotypow i wyobrazen. Zgadzam sie. Jednak koncowke wypowiedzi nazwalabym juz "lotem" - mam wrazenie, ze Said popada w antyrasistowska obsesje i wszedzie dopatruje sie oznak niesprawiedliwosci. Mial zupelna racje w kwestii sztucznego podzialu, jednoczesnej generalizacji i egzotyfikacji Innego. Nie interesowaly mnie wlasciwie nigdy tematy zwiazane z etnicznoscia, narodowoscia i wielokulturowoscia i odbieraniem jej przez masy. Byc moze dlatego nie jestem w stanie zalapac tej kolektywnej mysli, o ktorej mowi Said? Byc moze moj dar obserwacji jest rowny zeru a moje indywidualna swiadomosc determinuje moj obraz swiata? Do przemyslenia.

Kolejny film our own private bin laden , na ktory sie niezwykle cieszylam, choc wiedzialam czego sie spodziewac. Kreacja Postaci. Mylilam sie. Moze dlatego, ze wychodzac z sali, spojrzelismy na siebie pytajaco: o czym byl ten film?

Zmeczylam sie. Dokoncze potem. Ale pointe w glowie mam, zapewniam! Na szybkiego powiem, ze rezyserka kazda sekunda filmu podkreslila slowa Saida, jednoczesnie im zaprzeczajac!! Nie wydaje mi sie by bylo to celowe, gdyz byla ona zaproszona do pozniejszej debaty jako gosc glowny. Amatorska wersja "Fahrenheit 9/11". Manipulacja zmuszajaca niemal do wymiotow. Przepraszam, ale przypomnialam sobie. W kazdym razie, czegos tu nie zrozumialam. Pomysle wiec wiecej i albo skazuje te notke albo napisze cos sensownego (sic!).

Kolejny (markowy) bojkot.

2006-02-28T10:59:00.000+01:00

Antropologowie oddali swoj glos. Etyczne straznice wypisuja przykazania. Chyba slusznie. Pisalam wczesniej, ze sama mam zbyt malo woli, by SIE ORGANIZOWAC. Pisalam tez, ze byc moze to ignorancja. Nie wiem. Musze rozpisac swoje sumienie na czesci pierwsze. Jednego jestem pewna - masy robia wrazenie bardziej wrazliwych i bardziej swiadomych. AAAUnite z zaprzyjaznionymi stowarzyszeniami (z ktorych nazw swoja droga mozna by sie niezle posmiac) rozpisala rezolucje domagajac sie bojkotu Coca-Coli. Smieszne? Byc moze. Po paru latach omijania tego tematu i zamykania uszu na wyolbrzymiane "punkowe teorie spisku" spojrzalam na sprawe z boku. Byc moze popelniam podstawowy blad logiczny, jakim jest powolywanie sie na autorytety, jednak naleze do tego plebsu, ktory zawierza Akademi. Jest godzina 11 i kawa dopiero nadpoczeta, wiec byc moze majacze cos o Ikarach... Chce jednak o tym doniesc, byc moze by samej pamietac. Byc moze by nazwac inaczej, to o czym wszyscy wiemy, ale nasze konformistyczne palce dra na kawalki. Nie wiem. Esej bedacy, wedlug Savage Minds, inspiracja do tej akcji mozecie sciagnac tu (pdf). Przeczytam jak wypije kawe. Albo dwie.

Zaczyna mnie natomiast draznic cale to moje piszanie, bo zdaje sobie sprawe z ilosci uzytego "nie wiem" w moich notkach. Prawda, blogowanie sluzy koncentracji. Wyostrza uwage. Mi jednak brakuje chyba narzedzi by przenosic tu (lub gdziekolwiek) konstrukcje moich obserwacji. Nic to, bede probowac dopoki mi sie ucho nie urwie.

Codziennie nalezy sie czemus przeciwstawiac. Kazdego dnia znajdzie sie cos lub ktos wymagajacy naszego wsparcia. Donkiszotowcy Wszystkich Krajow Laczmy Sie - chcialoby sie rzec. Ale co wtedy nam zostanie? Z czego jestesmy w stanie zrezygnowac? I czy rezygnacja jest wlasciwa strategia? Jutro bedzie Nestle, pojutrze Toshiba a w piatkowy post wspomnimy tybetanskich mnichow. Nie wiem (sic!). Denerwuje mnie jedynie wybiorczosc. Z jednej strony jest nieunikniona... Z drugiej...

Widzialam wczoraj "Lord of the War". Tendencyjne. Ale chyba prawdziwe. Kto widzial "Koszmar Darwina" przeklnie obyczajowa fabule. Ja mysle jednak, ze warto. Warto, by wyryc w pamieci. Wiem, ze nie trzeba tatuowac swiadomosci i to nie my powinnismy o pewnych rzeczach pamietac. Jednak od naszego warzywniaka niedaleko do Sierra Leone... Chce pamietac o tym i chce odnalezc sile by tak jak Valentine palic wiatraki. Wiatr i tak wiac bedzie...

Bo...

2006-02-22T21:26:00.000+01:00

Nie ma mnie bo: robie pierwsza w zyciu obserwacje, o ktorej absurdach, wadach i zaletach opowiem potem; bo mamy najazd rodzinny, co mowi samo za sie; bo slecze nad jeszcze wiekszym absurdem - bawie sie w tlumacza, specjaliste od spraw korozji i innych raportow wykonawczych wobec czego ostatnie dni spedzam na elektrochemicznych rozprawach. Nie zmienilo sie to, ze tradycyjnie popadam w skrajnosci i od calkowitego bojkotu popadlam w obsesje G i wikipedoze! Jak niby inaczej znalezc octan potasu i budowe posypywarki o dwoch rozrzutnikach?!

Nie zmienila sie rowniez norweska prasa. W wolnym tlumaczeniu: W Norwegii lubimy narzekac na to i owo; ze internet za drogi, za wolny, ze zasieg nie ten. Ale inni maja gorzej... itp itd. Chodzi rzecz jasna o pozyskiwanie cieplej wody w polskich gospodarstwach. Dziekuje Agacie Kindze za tipsa:):)

Walka o "wyrostkow" trwa.

2006-02-14T10:58:00.000+01:00

Dla zainteresowanych moim "oburzeniem" w ostatnim opcicie - mozna sledzic, moze cos z tego wysledzimy.

Mercedes Benz

2006-02-14T09:17:00.000+01:00

Hihi, wlasnie zdalam sobie sprawe, ze Moh. Ber. maja skrot MB!! Calkiem calkiem. Wyscigowki...

Global + mikro = absurd

2006-02-14T08:34:00.000+01:00

Ja sie zgadzam, ja sie przylacze. Ze wzgledow oczywistych, i jak mi ktos powie, ze jak nie ja to ktos inny sprzedawac bedzie dragi to sie zastrzele, tu na miejscu. I pierwszy raz moje miejsce pracy nazwane zostanie pulpitem, bo chyba glowa ofiary pada wlasnie tam a nie na biurko, stol czy stolik. W kazdym razie, takie chwile sa troche jak spowiedz - zmuszaja do przemyslen, do zabrania stanowiska, a co rowniez za tym idzie - do wachania. Zmusza do samokrytycyzmu i porzucenia: przyzwyczajen, kaprysow i przepychu. Przylacze sie dzis do bojkotu, nie tylko wiec ze wzgledow globalnych, ale i z wlasnej (nieprzymuszonej woli - dokonczylo mi w glowie) potrzeby. Zatrzymanie sie i odrzucenie zbednych czynnosci, ktore powoli staja sie fizjologiczne. A co smieszniejsze - nie pamietajac, kolejnosci 10 przykazan, weszlam wlasnie na onet.pl, interia jest tzw. filia wielkiego G (oficjalnie, tzn., ze onet pewnie tez jest, a jak nie G to Y albo M). i co jak co, ale zeby polskie portale nie odnalazly TAKIEGO hasla?!! Po pierwsze juz na samym starcie musialam uscislic moje zapytanie, gdyz pierwsze odnaleziony dekalog dotyczyl nie Mojzeszowego przeslania, ale Katechizmu Handlowego, czyli "10 przykazan szczesliwego klienta"! Okazalo sie jednak, ze Dziesiatka z Katolikiem nie ma nic wspolnego - haslo nieznane. Generalnie z religia (jakakolwiek) ma malo wspolnego. Uparlam sie i powiedzialam sobie, ze poszukam, bo pewnie gdzies bedzie (bo MUSI przeciez byc!!!) link do upragnionego hasla. Oto co znalazlam:

10 przykazań menedżera zakupów,
10 przykazań młodości,
10 przykazań właściciela suki hodowlanej,
10 przykazań skuterzysty,
10 Przykazań szczęśliwego człowieka - analiza chemiczna kobiety.

Takich bylo wiecej. Dopiero na chyba 4ej stronie znalazlam cos co choc troszke wpisuje sie w podmiot moich poszukiwan: "10 przykazań Moherowego Beretu". Ale stad przeciez jeszcze dluga droga. Skandal i granda! A gdyby tak ktorys z internautow chcial sie nawrocic a G czy Y byloby zablokowane fizycznie, lub jak dzis ideologicznie? A jeszcze dodatkowo nie mialby polskiej klawiatury, a sprytnym by nie byl? A moze to norweskie lutry nie dopuszczaja do Synajowego Slowa? Smieszna wydala mi sie ta sytuacja, a mialam pisac o czyms innym. Trudno. Niech ktos napisze, ze sie nie zgadza, to sie wkurze i zripostuje! Oprocz milego uczucia "make a difference" czuje straszny niesmak, swiadomosc slabosci i, w rzeczy samej, obojetnosci. Gdyby kazdy czekal na impuls zewnetrzny... Podziwiam tych, ktorzy maja sile.

A najbardziej podobalo mi sie niemal blasfemiczne nawolywanie: "Pomóż kreować 10 przykazań" !!!! To lubie!!

Munch.

2006-02-10T08:44:00.000+01:00

Kolejny raz wybralam sie do Muzeum Muncha Juz przed samym wejsciem przekonalam sie, czemu moje wizyty nie byly czestsze. Dol. Dol. Dol. A najlepiej od razu sznur i na drzewo. Moja pierwsze spotkanie z norweskim mistrzem odbylo sie w atmosferze ciekawosci, zachlysniecia miastem i generalna wakacyjna euforia. Pamietam tylko, ze minal mi ten nastroj szybko. Potem balam sie, doslownie balam sie zagladac tam. Nie chcialam prowokowac zbednych negatywnych emocji. Bo kto ma w sobie tyle idiotyzmu by od przyslowiowego krzyku uciekac w krzyk. Od smutku w samotnosc. Od strachu w tuberkuloze. Wystarczajaco zle wspominalam poprzednia wizyte.

Zebralam jednak sily i poszlismy. Uffff. Zastanawia mnie kto mniej sie zmienil - Munch czy ja? On dalej bez talentu, ktory przekonalby estetyka, wciaz zmuszajacy fale przechodniow do ugiecia karku i przybrania min pelnych zrozumienia. Mi sie tam Munch nie podoba nadal. I wciaz wywoluje u mnie dwie reakcje: niemozliwa irytacje i nieprawdopodnobnego dola. Nie wiem zreszta czy tak to sie zwie; cos na ksztalt frustracji tez sie pojawia, i ciezar jakis i zawiesina. I pytanie: na co ja tu przyszlam?! Na co mi palec jakiegos trolla wypominajacego mi bezczelnie moje slabosci?! Zeby chociaz to ladnie robil! Przeciez swiat nie jest taki brzydki. Uff, jak tam ciezko bylo. Nie znosze go.

W wizycie w Muzeum Muncha jest jednak cos specjalnego. Z pragnieniem powietrza opuszcza czlowiek mury i ze zdziwieniem odkrywa, ze powietrza nie ma! Wystawa wcale sie nie skonczyla. Munch dalej trwa. I jesli o to Edkowi (przepraszam jesli bluznie) chodzilo, gratuluje, jesli zaplanowal to w ten sposob to jest geniuszem. Skutecznie odbiera czlowiekowi ochote na cokolwiek. A mi pomogl zdobyc kolejny argument dlaczego chce opuscic Norwegie. Te rozmazujace sie ksztalty...

P.S. Z rozbawieniem przeczytalam wiec dzis o nadchodzacej serii pt. Life Force. Vitalism as an artistic impulse 1900-1930. Do trzech razy sztuka?

Zakochalam sie!

2006-02-05T23:06:00.000+01:00

Metonimia. (Nowy) wrog ludu.

2006-02-05T22:54:00.000+01:00

23go stycznia pojawił się w VG artykuł. Traktuje on o śniegu. Śniegu, który z definicji białym powinien być. Norwegów przywiązanych do jego jakości poważnie zaniepokoił fakt, ze biel nie jest już biała! Niejedna mądra glowa zasiadła, pomierzyła, przeliczyła i orzekła: śnieg w twoim ogródku poszarzał przez zanieczyszczenia z Europy Wschodniej. Być może. Nie mam wystarczająco wiedzy by podważać merytorycznosc artykułu. Mam również wszelkie podstawy aby się temu nie dziwić. Zaciekawiła mnie inna rzecz.

Europa Wschodnia, długa i szeroka a pojecie tez względne. Fragell wymienia Polskę, Litwę i Białoruś jako „śniegowych przestępców”. W porządku. Zastanawia mnie tylko fakt dlaczego tytuł brzmi „Sadza z Polski brudzi twój śnieg”! Czyżby jakaś nieznana lub niezrozumiała dla mnie metonimia? Tylko co ma przedstawiać w tym przypadku Polska? Europę Wschodnia czy „zło”? Nie chce demonizować, ani oskarżać, ale wyświechtane słowo „dyskryminacja” mimowolnie cisnie mi się na usta. Nie jestem również zaślepioną patriotka, która w oczy prawdę kole. Tym, którzy mnie znają nie musze tłumaczyć, ze wiem również, ze w dużej mierze „sami sobie zgotowaliśmy ten los”. Coraz częściej spotykam się jednak z zupełnie niepotrzebnym podkreślaniem Polski lub Polaków w negatywnych kontekstach. O pozytywach pisze się dwunastka, negatywy okrasza się tłustym drukiem, najlepiej na pierwszej stronie. Nie było tego wcześniej, naprawdę, nie na taka skale. Oczywiście, pisze sie o Nas więcej, gdyż jest Nas tu co raz więcej. Można jednak napisać i NAPISAC.

Polska stała się dobrze sprzedającym sie towarem. Ksenofobiczni Norwegowie kupują Polskę jako symbol. Kochani, staliśmy się kolejnym kozłem ofiarnym. Pakistanczycy, Turcy, Hindusi… Ich już Norwegia przerobiła. Z nimi już sie uporała. Walka o polityczna poprawność dotyczy nacji ze stosunkowo długą tradycją osiedleńczą. Nowa Emigracja, jak ta z Europy Wschodniej, ma przed sobą długą drogę.

Gratuluje jednocześnie Fragellowi i innym autorom niezwykłego daru obserwacji społecznych nastrojow, wiedzy o czytelnikach i zmysłu marketingowego.

Burka Band

2006-02-05T21:32:00.000+01:00

A jednak cuda sa mozliwe. Posluchajcie i poczytajcie!

Troche historii. Trzeba pielegnowac takie skarby...

Zazenowanie.

2006-02-03T15:35:00.000+01:00

I oto w moje rece trafil dzis najnowszy numer Op.citu. Warszawskie czasopismo skupiajace polskich etnografow i antropologow. Czytalo sie milo, a nawet latwo, lekko i przyjemnie. Ambitni mlodzi ludzie podejmuja trudne tematy zawstydzajac moja niewiedze. Czytam o zaangazowaniu nauk spolecznych, o tolerancji wobec "innych", o etyce i relatywizmie. Na stronie 7 tekst niejakiego/niejakiej "jk"; fiszka, notka z obserwacji w pociagu, rodzaj blyskotliwego spojrzenia na to, co codzienne, co wokol. I zjezylam sie! JK kpi, nabija sie, czysta ironia czestuje bohaterow opowiesci. Glowne postaci "w telewizji zwani wyrostkami" maja "twarze nieskazone filozoficzna refleksja", a tylko heroiczny wysilek, jak czytamy, pozwala jednemu z nich wymienic nazwisko Pitagorasa. Po co i dlaczego nie jest wazne. Wazne, ze JK konkluduje przebrzydle zjadliwie: "Panowie, pani od matematyki bylaby z was dumna!". Czy gdyby JK byl(a) swiadkiem wdrazania ktoregos z projektow rozwojowych majacych, na przyklad na celu skomputeryzowanie szkoly w Burkina Faso, i ktorys z tamtejszych nauczycieli po ciezkim dniu zrozumumialby zasady dzialania internetu, uzyl(a)by komentarza: "Wow! Bill Gates bylby z Ciebie dumny!"? Wyglada mi to predzej na rasizm intelektualny i kulturowy a nie na takowy relatywizm, ktory powinien byc podstawowym narzedziem antropologa, a ktorym JK najwyrazniej nie wlada. Zaczynam wiec watpic w profil pisma, ktore z zalozenia, jak nie z definicji, powinno krzewic relatywistyczne przeslanie. Mam tylko nadzieje, ze JK, poza tym pechowym fragmentem, zajmuje sie badaniem tylko i wylacznie ludzi wyksztalconych. Jesli nie, szczerze obawiam sie o godnosc opisywanych i etyczna poprawnosc tychze badan. A nawet jesli sa one "poprawne" watpie w ich szczerosc, bo zgadzam sie z Williamem B. Yeats'em, iz nie mozna oddzielic tanca od tanczacego.

Nie chce zabrzmiec jak relatywistyczna dewotka. Wolnosc slowa, o ktorej ostatnio tak glosno, owszem. Ale istnieja granice przyzwoitosci. I przekroczeniem tej granicy jestem szczerze zszokowana i zawiedziona.

P.S. William B. Yeats Among School Children

W takim razie (ja sobie) na sto lat?

2006-01-28T23:57:00.000+01:00

Zaczynam sie zastanawiac gdzie bylam gdy mialam lat nascie, ze mnie wzielo na to i owo. ehhh. ehgrrr. Ale obiecuje (sobie), ze od jutra juz tylko o rzeznikach bedzie. Od jutra bede patrzec (przed siebie). od jutra wracam (do siebie?). od jutra (sie) lecze. zaczynamy od pustej sciany w Munchu.

P.S. Dzis na mimo/dobrowolnym spacerku po zaspach z zachwytem odkrylam ziemi kawalek! taki prawdziwy, no kawalek tej ziemi co prawda okazal sie, hmmm jak to sie nazywa, powiedzmy wlazem do kanalizy, ale piasek tez byl i blotko i patyczek!!! stanelam rzecz jasna, tupnelam, krolowa Hansa zasmiala sie rubasznie i obiecala, ze (od jutra) lod tylko i wylacznie bedzie topnial. Jestem za. On tez hehe. Chyba nawet bardziej.

P.S.2 Co nie znaczy, ze hotel lodowy w Alcie to moje marzenie!

P.S.3 Do jutra :)

(not)USA

2006-01-28T23:55:00.000+01:00

Teorie dopisac do sensu

Niezjednoczone
Stany
Aleksandry

Nie chce mi sie

2006-01-27T21:59:00.000+01:00

Hmmmm. Bede szczera. nie chce mi sie. nie chce mi sie nic. pisac, slowa, bezsens. przejdzie. zostalam dzis wbita w ziemie. zderzylam sie. oskarzono mnie. oskarzono o najgorsze. tak mi sie wydaje. dlatego nie bedzie peanu do Ho. nie bedzie go dzis. choc on juz jest, ale jeszcze nie tu, chodzi mi on po glowie. bo chce wyrazic wdziecznosc. i tyle. ale dzis nie. dzis gleba. dzis przeroslo mnie. nie wiem co bardziej - zaskoczenie jaka jestem byc moze. byc moze. nie chce mi sie. nie chce mi sie nic. pisac, slowa, bezsens. przejdzie. Hmmmm. bede szczera.

Wybor zawodu.

2006-01-23T19:55:00.000+01:00

Nie mozna zostac weterynarzam jesli nie lubi sie zwierzat. Ksiadz nie jest wyslannikiem bozym jesli nienawidzi grzesznikow. Psychiatra nie wyleczy jesli uwierzy w ufo. Klown nie bedzie smieszny gdy zacznie gardzic tymi, ktorych rozbawia. Nie zostaniesz treserem lwow jesli sie ich panicznie boisz. Nie wyrwe Ci zeba jesli moja empatia przerasta siedem gor i zalewa siedem rzek. Pszczelarz alergik nie przyniesie Nam miodu. Jak wiec mam zostac antropologiem??

Sam sobie wilkiem na Cejlonie.

2006-01-23T02:06:00.000+01:00

Wiecie, kolezanka powiedziala dzis: hmm pierwszy raz slysze, ze jestes na wygnaniu. Nie zrozumiawszy. No, moze niewyraznie powiedziawszy. Ja. Wiec nie. Nikt mnie nie wyganial. Nikt nie wyrzucal. Sama sie wyrzucilam. Sama sie wygnalam. Sama siebie teraz gonie. Dobranoc na Sri Lance...

Drobnolistny lęk.

2006-01-19T16:38:00.001+01:00

Godziny za godzinami kiedy przestajemy byc ambitni i nie myslimy
o niesmiertelnosci pozaziemskiej klimatyzacji. Kladziemy wzrok na bezsilnej plazy stolu. Morze wyrzuca na brzeg falszywa bizuterie. Algi czyhaja juz z daleka. Phi, alergiczne sitowie. Slady bakteri na talerzach. Puste kutry czekaja na zaladunek. Nie obchodza nas wezwania podatkowe ani najnowsze notowania gieldy. Pijemy sok. Jemy ciezkie metale. Podchodzimy do ladowania w apatycznej auli wieczoru.

P.S. W wodorostach mysli nie probuj udowadniac, ze prawda jest nieparzysta!!

Absurdalne.

2006-01-19T00:38:00.000+01:00

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Trauma Trojany i Trellemorelle

2006-01-19T00:02:00.000+01:00

No i dzien uplynal pod znakiem explorera. Szatan musial w tym palce maczac! Od razu wiec przepraszam za zameczanie. Szokiem bylo dla mnie odkrycie, ze inni widza inaczej! hi. No i anegdotka ta stala sie przenosnia ma i mottem! I jesli Ko. uwaza, ze ze wszystkich elementow wokol nas wychodzi taka, metaforycznie, stronka no to teraz sie faktycznie zdolowalam. Wiesz Ko, ty masz racje, ze sie przejelam. I sie przejmuje bardziej chyba niz kiedys, gdyz teraz chyba wymagam od siebie wiecej a sciany mego domu nie sa wysmarowane waszymi wpisami ani oblane cytatami zewszad, od Herberta po Wielki Slownik Cybernetyczny. Tak, wymagam duzo a to przeciez moze zgubic. Z drugiej strony milo miec swiadomosc swiadomych znajomych. Rozumiesz? Dzieki.

Przepraszam raz jeszcze za bycie namolnym. Ale wiecie, jak tak puscilam w obieg te moje wypociny, to bylam taka dumna, taka zadowolona, ze takie ladne cos wyplodzilam. I mimo, ze nie idealne to moje i wysiedziane, wypisane, wymeczone, wyczerwoneoczyione, wykawione i wypalone na mrozie. I juz sie tak przyzwyczailam i piszac wiedzialam, ze widzicie to co ja. Taki lot sobie wkrecilam. Mimo samej checi tworzenia i nauki i po prostu dobrej zabawy, gdzies jakos chcialam Wam tez sprawic troche radosci (to dlatego ten szary hihi). Choc nie mam celu, o ktory cynicznie zapytala Ag (a ty chcesz zeby ludzie sie w te stronke wkrecili?!). I dlatego wkurzylam sie niemilosiernie, wiem, powtarzam sie, sorry. I dlatego polaly sie babskie lzy i dlatego odechcialo mi sie wszystkiego. Opadly mi rece a potem: Eureka! I mysl, ze kazdy ma inny ekran przed soba, inna rozdzielczosc i inne oprogramowanie. I chce ciagnac ta mysl w wersji pozytywnej. Niektorzy tez maja wirusy. Ich problem. Byleby mi ich nie slali. Ale ja sie zaopatrzylam. Ja mam wszystkie strzaly i tarcze zywotne i mur wokol taaaaki wysoki. A ogniem zieje, ze hej! Mam nadzieje, ze nie tylko Ko to zrozumie! hihi.

Zmienilam wiec jakos ze niebieski u niektorych zniknal. Na wiecej nie mialam juz sil. Postanowilam wiec, ze kto ma czytac poczyta i w niebieskim i rozowym i bez paseczka tu i tam i z beznadziejna czcionka i w ogole patykiem pisane. A kto nie zniesie tego czy owego (bo teraz to juz nie jestem pewna kto co widzi. hi) a jednak chce czytac to zapraszam do instalacji innych przegladarek. Wiecie, zwrocono mi dzis uwage, ze nie robi sie komentarzy, bo trzeba odznaczyc cos tam. 1, gora 2 sekundy zycia, mniej wiecej tyle ile zaoszczedzamy naciskajac w windzie przycisk przyspieszajacy zamykanie drzwi, albo uzywajac zakladek. Ag, ile takich sekund czlowiek zaoszczedza w ciagu dnia?! Mnostwo, zwlaszcza jesli pijesz ekspresowa i wcinasz nudle. Wkurza mnie zatem lenistwo, lub tlumaczenie, ktorego nikt nie ma ochoty sluchac, lub czepianie sie i bycie glededreperem przez to wszystko. Skad sie to bierze, powiedzcie mi. Wirusy.

No ale dziekuje za tak szybkie reakcje. Jadrowi jestescie!!!

Zaskoczenie. Dajcie znac!!

2006-01-18T12:21:00.000+01:00

po przesmiesznych zajeciach z tlumaczen gdzie zatanawialismy sie czy "sprawiac ze" znaczy to samo co "czyni" wpadlam do biblioteki i gnana wewnetrzynym imperatywem tudziez natrectwem zajrzalam na antropytona i z nieukrywanym zaskoczeniem i smutkiem i wsciekloscia odkrylam ze kolory tu sa zupelnie inne niz na moim kompie! Nie podoba mi sie to! Wsciekle niebieskie linki i ANTOPYTON sciely mnie z nog doprowadzajac do konwulsji na bibliotecznym linoleum! Grrrr - powiedzial moj wewnetrzny spec od estetyki i zalamal raczki. Kochani, powiedzcie czy wy tez widzicie na niebiesko?! To nie jest przenosnia!! hihi (mialo byc bez usmieszkow - ale taki moze byc. zreszta w sytyuacji kryzysowej reguly i kodeksy przestaja byc aktualne - pocieszenie marne ale zawsze jakies, choc gorne pogardy byc moze). Czekam wiec a unerwienie moje szalu dostaje i komorki odpowiedzialne za wscieklosc rozrastaja sie i groza cialu eksplozja!! Cholera. acha, wedlug mojego zamyslu linki i tytul sa szare jak niebo nad berlinem.

Dla Kozyra. Przeczytane dzis w damskiej na uniwerku.

2006-01-17T00:08:00.001+01:00

Jak czlowiek bedzie biegl wystarczajaco szybko i caly czas sie usmiechal to nikt nie odkryje ze jest brzydki!!

Juz nawet nie antro...

2006-01-16T01:22:00.000+01:00

Dookola paruje moje prawdziwe ja. Czarodziejski kwiat okazal sie pospolitym chwastem.